勁爆英語(yǔ)笑話
會(huì)講笑話的人都是有好人緣的人，所以我們要多親近一些笑話大王們。現(xiàn)在小編也來(lái)當(dāng)笑話大王啦!小編給大家收集整理了勁爆英語(yǔ)笑話，一起來(lái)笑笑，收集好人緣吧!
勁爆英語(yǔ)笑話一：The Horse can talk 馬會(huì)說(shuō)話
man was reading a newspaper at a table, when his wife suddenly came to him and hit him on the back. The man was very surprised and asked: "Why do you hit me?"
The wife answered: "Who is Mary mentioned in the letter in your pocket?"
The man said: "It was the horse in the racecourse, which I chipped in two weeks ago."
Three days later, the man was sitting at the table, and this time his wife beat him angrily. The man asked: "What do you beat me for this time?"
The wife answered: "Your horse gave you a telephone call."
一個(gè)男人坐在桌邊看報(bào)紙，他妻子忽然走到身后，用拳頭狠狠地打他，男人摸著腦袋不解地問(wèn)：“為什么打我?”
妻子回答:”你的口袋里那封信提到的瑪麗是誰(shuí)?”
男人說(shuō)：“是我兩星期前在馬場(chǎng)下注的那匹馬。”
三天后，男人又在桌邊，他妻子這次更氣憤地打他。男人問(wèn)：“這次又為什么?”
妻子回答：“你的馬打電話來(lái)了。”
勁爆英語(yǔ)笑話二：A Soldier's Brilliant Idea
Mr. Robinson had to travel somewhere on business, and as he was in a hurry, he decided to go by air. He liked sitting beside a window when he was flying, so when he got on to the plane, he looked for a window seat. He found all of them had already had been taken except for one. There was a soldier sitting in the seat beside this one, and Mr. Robinson was surprised that he had not taken the one by the window; but, anyhow, he at once went towards it.
When he reached it, however, he saw that there was a notice on it. It was written in ink and said, "This seat is preserved for proper load balance, thank you." Mr Robinson had never seen such an unusual notice in a plane before, but he thought that the plane must be carrying something particularly heavy in it, so he walked on and found another empty seat, not beside a window, to sit in.
Two or three people tried to sit in the window seat beside the soldier, but they too read the notice and went on, when the plane was nearly full, a very beautiful girl hurried into the plane. The soldier, who was watching the passengers coming in, quickly took the notice off the seat beside himself and in this way succeededin having the company of the girl during the whole trip.
士兵的高招
由于生意方面的.事，羅賓遜先生得出趟門(mén)。因?yàn)橛悬c(diǎn)緊急，他決定坐飛機(jī)。乘機(jī)旅行時(shí)，他喜歡靠窗坐，故而一登機(jī)，他就尋找一個(gè)靠窗的座位。他發(fā)現(xiàn)只有一個(gè)靠窗的座位還空著。在那空座位邊坐著一名士兵。令羅賓遜先生納悶的是，這位士兵沒(méi)有坐靠窗的位置。羅賓遜先生不管那些，他馬上徑直朝那個(gè)空座位走去。
然而，等到了那兒，他看見(jiàn)座位上有則啟事，是用鋼筆寫(xiě)的：“為保持裝載平衡，特預(yù)設(shè)該位置，謝謝合作。”羅賓遜先生還從來(lái)沒(méi)有在飛機(jī)上見(jiàn)過(guò)如此不同尋常的啟事。不過(guò)，他想飛機(jī)上一定裝了什么特別重的物品，于是他找了個(gè)不靠窗的位置。
又有兩三個(gè)乘客試圖坐在那個(gè)士兵旁的靠窗座位上，他們看到那則啟事就走開(kāi)了。當(dāng)快滿座時(shí)，一位非常美麗的姑娘匆匆走進(jìn)機(jī)艙。一直在注意進(jìn)艙旅客的那個(gè)士兵趕緊拿掉他旁邊空座位上的啟事。士兵用這種辦法，成功地找到了一位姑娘一路作伴。
勁爆英語(yǔ)笑話三：I am his second wife 我就是他的第二太太
A rich man and his wife went into a shop to buy a bracelet. Neither of them was very young.
They looked at a lot of beautiful bracelets, and after half an hour there were two which they looked like very much, but they had not yet been able to choose between them. One of them was very expensive, and the other was quite a lot cheaper.
Of course, the shopkeeper wanted to sell them the more expensive one, because then he would get more money from them, so he said to the lady, "Oh, go on. Spend his money, if you don't he will only spend it on his second wife." For several seconds nobody said a word, and then the lady said angrily, "I am his second wife."
一位富人和妻子到一家商店買(mǎi)手鐲。兩人都老大不小了。
他們看了好多漂亮的手鐲，選了半個(gè)小時(shí)，其中有兩只看起來(lái)相似。但在這兩只當(dāng)中，要哪一只，英語(yǔ)小故事他們?nèi)耘e棋不定。一只很貴，另一只要便宜得多。
當(dāng)然，店老板想把貴的賣(mài)給他們，因?yàn)橘u(mài)貴的可以從它們手里賺更多的錢(qián)。于是，店老板對(duì)那位太太說(shuō)：“哦，就買(mǎi)這只吧，他的錢(qián)你就花把。要是你不花，拿錢(qián)可能用在第二個(gè)太太身上了。”沉默了好幾秒鐘，這位太太面露不悅地說(shuō)：“我就是他的第二個(gè)太太。”
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