經典爆笑英語笑話集錦
總是有些時候莫名其妙的不開心，心情不佳的時候就會辦什么都不在狀態，你會這樣么?這里小編收集整理了經典爆笑英語笑話集錦，讓你的心情速速好起來。
經典爆笑英語笑話一：Goldfish 金魚
Stan: I won 92 goldfish.
斯丹：我贏了 92 條金魚。
Fred: Where are you going to keep them?
弗雷德：你想在哪兒養它們?
Stan: In the bathroom.
斯丹：浴室。
Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath?
弗雷德：但是你想洗澡時怎么辦?
Stan: Blindfold(蒙眼睛) them!
斯丹：蒙住它們的眼睛!
經典爆笑英語笑話二：Like a Straw
There were these two not so bright guys who had to get across the desert. Since they didn't have enough money for a car they decided to buy a camel.
The camel dealer promised them that the camel would get them across the desert if they made sure he was full of water before they left. They took the camel down to the water hole, but the camel would not drink. So finally the first guy says: "I have an idea, why don't I hold his head down in the water and you suck on his butt. That way the water will be drawn up into him like a straw." The second gut thought about this for a while and finally agreed.
After a while the first guy asks "Well is it working?"
The second guy replied "I think it is going to work, but you have to pick his head up just a little because I'm just getting mud."
經典爆笑英語笑話三：Creativity
創造力
On the first night of an adult creative-writing class，the instructor asked the students to tell the class why they were taking the course. One woman explained，"I have five chil-dren and so I've decided to channel my creativity in another direction, "
在為成人開設的創造性寫作班上第一節課時，老師先請同學們談談上此課的目的。一位婦女是這樣說的:“我已經生了五個孩于，所以，我決定把我的創造力引向別的方面去去."
關于最簡單的英語笑話篇四
Flower talk
花的.語言
A gentleman entered a busy florist shop that displayed a large sign that read "Say It With Flowers".
一位先生走進一家生意興隆的商店。他見到花店的大廣告牌上寫著:“讓鮮花代替您的語言。”
"Wrap up one rose,"he told the florist.
“請包一支玫瑰。”他對賣花的人說。
"Only one?"the florist asked.
“就要一支?”賣花人問。
" Just one，“the customer replied.“I'm a man of few words. "
“對，就一支。”那位先生說:“我這個人講話不多。”
經典爆笑英語笑話四：Gorilla In a Tree
As he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a sound on the roof of his house and rushed out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair-sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his home, he promptly called up the local zoo authorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped. He was reassured that a gorilla recovering units was on the way and to remain calm.
A few minutes later, an old beat up truck, displaying the Gorilla recovery unit logo on its panels, pulled up to the house. The elderly driver proceeds to recover from the back of the truck, a chiwawa dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a baseball bat, and a 12-gauge shotgun. Puzzled on how this lone elderly was to solve the problem of this gorilla that had by now torn half the roof apart, the chap asked him how he would go about doing this. As he handed him over the 12-gauge shotgun, the zoo employee explained the plan:
"First I'll climb up there with the ladder. Then I'll approach the gorilla and knock him off the roof using the baseball bat. As soon as the gorilla hits the ground, the specially trained chiwawa will attack its private parts. When I get back on the ground, the gorilla will have lowered its hands to its groin area to protect itself thus making it easy for me to slip on the handcuffs. Then, I lead him to the truck, lock him up and take him back to the zoo..."
Amazed at the procedure, the somewhat startled house owner asked why he was handed the 12-gauge shotgun?
"Well," explained the experienced gorilla retriever, "It's just a precaution should things not go exactly as planned. In the unlikely event that once on the roof the gorilla knocks me off with the baseball, shoot the dog."
經典爆笑英語笑話五：弄巧成拙
One evening my husband's golfing buddy drove his secretary home after she had imbibed a little too much at an office reception. Although this was an innocent gesture，he decided not to mention it to his wife,who tended to get jealous easily.
一天晚上，我丈夫一位打高爾夫球的朋友開車送他的秘書回家。那個秘書是因為在公司的招待會上喝多了點兒，不能自己駕車回家。這事雖然無可厚非，但是他還是決定不把
這事告訴他那愛吃蠟的妻子。
Later that night my husband's friend and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heel shoe half hidden under the passenger seat.Not wanting to be conspicuous， he waited until his wife was looking out of her window before he ,scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief , he pulled into the restaurant parking lot. That's when he noticed his wife squirming around in her .seat.” Honey,"she asked，“
have you seen my other shoe?"
也就在同天晚上，這位朋友送走秘書后，又帶著妻子驅車去飯店吃晚飯。無意中他看見一只高跟鞋半掩在后座椅子下。他不想引起懷疑，趁妾子扭頭看窗外的時侯，掏出了那
只鞋，把它扔出了車外。他大大地松了一口氣，把汽車停在了飯店外的停車場。這時，他發現他妻子正低頭找著什么東西。妻子問:“親愛的，你看見我的那只鞋了嗎?"
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