英語(yǔ)搞笑爆糗笑話(huà)
音樂(lè)家最重要的生理素質(zhì)是什么，下面來(lái)看看英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)就知道了。
不會(huì)犯兩次同樣的錯(cuò)誤
Boy: Hi, didn't we go on dates before? Onec or twice?
Girl: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
男孩：嗨，我們之前是不是約會(huì)過(guò)，是一次還是兩次，我忘記了。
女孩：應(yīng)該只有一次吧，我從不犯兩次同樣的錯(cuò)誤。
音樂(lè)家最重要的生理素質(zhì)是什么
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, a teacher asked one of the boys, "What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?"
"To be deaf," replied the boy.
"Nonsense!" said the teacher angrily.
"Why, sir! Don't you know that the famous musician Beethoven was deaf?" the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
在一次音樂(lè)學(xué)院的入學(xué)考試中，老師問(wèn)其中一個(gè)男孩："音樂(lè)家最重要的生理素質(zhì)是什么?"
"耳聾，"男孩答道。
"胡說(shuō)!"老師氣憤地說(shuō)。
"怎么了，先生!難道您不知道大名鼎鼎的音樂(lè)家貝多芬是個(gè)聾子嗎?"男孩輕蔑地反問(wèn)道。
Improvement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
一位學(xué)生對(duì)另一位說(shuō)：“你的. 英語(yǔ) 最近學(xué)的怎么樣?”“很好，我過(guò)去不懂英國(guó)人說(shuō)話(huà)，可現(xiàn)在是英國(guó)人不懂我的話(huà)了。”
狗也知道這個(gè)諺語(yǔ)嗎?
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一個(gè)小女孩非常不喜歡狗狂叫的樣子。“沒(méi)有關(guān)系，”一位先生說(shuō)，“不用害怕，你知道這條諺語(yǔ)嗎：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎?”
Five Months Older大五個(gè)月
The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
But John's brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy's family name, so when he saw John's papers, he was surprised.
"How old are you?" he said.
"Eighteen, sir," said John.
"But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
"Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
第二次世界大戰(zhàn)開(kāi)始了，約翰想?yún)④�，可他只有十六歲，當(dāng)時(shí)規(guī)定男孩到十八歲才能入伍。所以軍醫(yī)給他進(jìn)行體檢時(shí)，他說(shuō)他已經(jīng)十八歲了。
可約翰的哥哥剛?cè)胛闆](méi)幾天，而且也是這個(gè)軍醫(yī)給他做的檢查。這位醫(yī)生還記得他哥哥的姓。所以當(dāng)他看到約翰的表格時(shí)，感到非常驚奇。
“你多大了?”軍醫(yī)問(wèn)。
“十八，長(zhǎng)官。”約翰說(shuō)。
“可你的哥哥也是十八歲，你們是雙胞胎嗎?”
約翰臉紅了，說(shuō)：“哦，不是，長(zhǎng)官，我哥哥比我大五個(gè)月。”
Give up your seat to a lady給女士讓座
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
小強(qiáng)尼說(shuō)：“媽媽?zhuān)裉煸缟虾桶职衷诠?chē)上時(shí)，他叫我讓座給一位女士。”
媽媽說(shuō)：“你做得很對(duì)呀。”
“但是，媽媽?zhuān)沂亲诎职窒ドw上的。”
jump up and down
Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
媽媽?zhuān)耗銥槭裁床煌５靥咸碌?
湯姆：我剛吃完藥，可我忘了先搖動(dòng)瓶子了
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