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簡(jiǎn)短英語(yǔ)笑話大全附翻譯
隨著現(xiàn)代社會(huì)的發(fā)展，越來(lái)越多的英語(yǔ)笑話也進(jìn)入了我們的視線，下面由應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生小編整理的多篇英語(yǔ)笑話，希望你喜歡。
相同的職責(zé)
The Same DutiesA retired four-star general ran into his former orderly, also retired, in a Manhattan bar and spent the rest of the evening persuading him to come work for him as his valet. "Your duties will be exactly the same as they were in the army," the general said. "Nothing to it-you'll catch on again fast." Next morning promptly at eight o'clock, the ex-orderly entered the ex-general's bedroom, pulled open the drapes, gave the general a gentle shake, strode around the other side of the bed, spanked his employer's wife on her bottom and said, "OK, sweetheart, it's back to the village for you."
相同的職責(zé)一個(gè)退休的四星級(jí)將軍在曼哈頓的一個(gè)酒吧偶然地遇到了他以前的勤務(wù)兵，勤務(wù)兵也退休在家。這位將軍花了一整個(gè)晚上的時(shí)間來(lái)說(shuō)服他回來(lái)做他的貼身隨從。“你的職責(zé)與在軍隊(duì)時(shí)完全一樣，”將軍說(shuō)，“這沒(méi)什么，你很快就會(huì)再次理解它的。” 第二天早晨八點(diǎn)鐘時(shí)，前勤務(wù)兵迅速地進(jìn)到前將軍的臥室，拉開(kāi)窗簾，輕輕地?fù)u了搖將軍，然后大步走到床的另一側(cè)，在他雇主的妻子屁股上拍了一下，說(shuō)道：“好了，甜心，你該回到村莊去了。”
你爺爺
A well dressed young man demanded as soon as he entered the restaurant:"Serve me, quick! Give me your best. I don't care the price."Not like the way he talked, the waiter said to him: "Hey Buddy, it doesn't matter you have a lot of money. You are still son of somebody, and grandson of somebody else."The young man raged: "Dare you! Tell me, who wants me to be his grandson?"The waiter replied with ease: "Nobody. Just your grandfather."
一位衣冠楚楚的年青人一進(jìn)飯店就大聲嚷嚷：“喂，有什么好菜盡管端上來(lái)，錢多少我不在乎。”服務(wù)員聽(tīng)了很不是滋味：“哥兒們，錢多頂個(gè)屁，你不照樣得做別人的兒子，就是有人要你做孫子你也不敢不做!”年青人勃然大怒：“誰(shuí)敢占老子的便宜?你說(shuō)，是誰(shuí)不要命了，膽敢要老子做他的孫子?”服務(wù)員慢條斯理地答道：“你爺爺!”
相親
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
和盲約對(duì)象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個(gè)朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開(kāi)了。當(dāng)他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說(shuō)：“有個(gè)不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛?cè)ナ懒恕?rdquo;“謝天謝地!”他的約會(huì)對(duì)象說(shuō)，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”
Boss's idea
When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.
Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."
由于我的打印機(jī)不能打印出清晰的字來(lái)，我就打電話給維修部。電話是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說(shuō)我的打印機(jī)也許只是需要清理一下。
他還說(shuō)，如果讓維修部清理的話要交50英鎊的清理費(fèi)，讓我最好看看使用手冊(cè)自己試著清理。
當(dāng)時(shí)我真的被他的話感動(dòng)了，就問(wèn)他：“你們老板知道你這樣拒絕生意么?”
“事實(shí)上，這就是我們老板的主意，”雇員答道：“因?yàn)槿绻覀冏層脩粝茸孕行蘩泶蛴C(jī)的話就能掙更多的錢。”
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