經(jīng)典小學(xué)生英語(yǔ)笑話
笑能夠通過(guò)運(yùn)動(dòng)腹部肌肉增加能量消耗。英語(yǔ)笑話能夠幫你笑不停,下面由YJBYS小編為您整理的英語(yǔ)笑話。
我需要器官移植
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
這個(gè)病人顯得很堅(jiān)決。“醫(yī)生,我需要做肝臟移植、腎臟移植、心臟移植、角膜移植、脾臟移植、胰腺移植和……” “你為什么認(rèn)為你需要做這么多移植手術(shù)?”病人回答:“哦,是這樣,我的老板說(shuō)如果我這個(gè)人不重新組裝的話,就別想保住我的工作!”
埋在花園里的槍
Guns Buried in the Garden An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden. He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, "For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!" At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns. Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next. His son's reply was: "Just plant your potatoes."
一個(gè)老人獨(dú)居在北愛(ài)爾蘭,他的獨(dú)生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園里種些土豆,但不知道誰(shuí)可以幫忙把泥土翻松。他寫信想兒子提及此事,兒子回信說(shuō)道:“看在上帝的面上,千萬(wàn)不要翻松花園的泥土,我把槍埋在那兒了。”第二天凌晨4點(diǎn),一隊(duì)英國(guó)士兵出現(xiàn)在老人家中,在花園把土地翻遍,但并沒(méi)有找到任何槍支。” 老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情,問(wèn)到底發(fā)生了什么事情,下一步應(yīng)該怎么做。 兒子回信道:“你只管種土豆好了。”
the formula for water
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?""Sure. That's easy," said one man."What is it?""H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.""What, what?" reasked the instructor."H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
生化戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)課的老師在課堂上問(wèn)士兵們:“誰(shuí)知道水的'分子式?”“當(dāng)然,太簡(jiǎn)單了。”一個(gè)士兵回答道。“是什么?”“H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.”“什么,什么?”老師又問(wèn)道。“H to O,”化學(xué)專家解釋道。
frog 青蛙
Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, "That's funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch."
老師正在給學(xué)生上生物課:“現(xiàn)在,我將要給你們看我袋子里的這只青蛙。”接著,他把手伸進(jìn)口袋,卻拿出了一份雞肉三文治。老師滿臉困惑地看了一眼,沉思了一會(huì)兒,說(shuō)道:“真奇怪。我明明記得我已經(jīng)把午飯吃掉了。”
相親 Blind Date
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
和盲約對(duì)象呆了一晚上后,男人再也受不了了。他事先安排了個(gè)朋友給他打電話,這樣他就能借故先離開(kāi)了。當(dāng)他回到桌邊,他垂下眼睛,裝出一副陰沉的表情,說(shuō):“有個(gè)不幸的消息,我的祖父剛剛?cè)ナ懒恕?rdquo;“謝天謝地!”他的約會(huì)對(duì)象說(shuō),“如果你的祖父不死,我的祖父就得死了!”
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