笑破肚子英語笑話大全
笑話總有一種魔力，能讓我們忘掉不開心的事，以下是小編準備的笑破肚子英語笑話大全，一起來爆笑吧!
笑破肚子英語笑話大全(一)
Father’s young peach tree
Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the bubs on my father’s youngpeach tree for two years in a row. This spring Dad was ready. Hereplanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and putthe tree in the garage whenever the temperaturedropped.
One warm April day Dad was wheeling the tree out into the yard, andstopped to give our dog a drink from the garden hose. A neighborwatched the scene with amusement. “Frank,” he finally commented,“you’re the only man I know who walks his tree and waters hisdog!”
——Judee Hansen(Palos Park，Ill.)
父親的小桃樹
一場想不到的寒流摧毀了父親的一排已經長了兩年的小桃樹。這年春天爸爸有所準備。他在一只大箱子里重新種下了樹苗，把箱子放在一輛車子上。只要氣溫一下降，他就把樹苗推到汽車房里去。
一個溫暖的春日，爸爸把樹苗推出來放到院子里，然后停下來用橡膠軟管給狗飲水。一位鄰居看著這種情景消遣。“弗蘭克，”他終于評論道，“你是我認識的唯一一位能讓樹走路，又給狗澆水的人。”
——賈德.漢森(帕洛斯，伊利諾斯州)
笑破肚子英語笑話大全(二)
Playing the crocodile
Other school officials had already taken roles in student dramas.Now it was my turn, ad I was coerced into playing the crocodile ina high-school production of Peter Pan. My family was in the frontrow watching as I emerged on cue, encased in a heavy reptile suitwith jaws and a four-foot tail. Slithering awkwardly afterCaptain Hook, I fell off the stage, landing unhurt on theauditorium floor.
Asthe bloodthirsty cheers from the audience died down, I heard myson-in-law say to my daughter, “It’s time we started a family. Allthe other adults here are watching their kids perform. We, I’m 30years old and watching my mother-in-law fall off a stage in acrocodile suit.”
——Lou Cook(Alexandria，Va.)
扮演鱷魚
其他的學校員工都已經在學校戲劇中扮演過角色了�，F在輪到了我，我被迫在中學的節目《彼得.潘》中扮演鱷魚。當我穿著沉重的`帶有鱷魚嘴、四只腳和尾巴的爬行動物服裝剛剛出現在舞臺的時候，我的家人就坐在前排觀看。我笨拙地跟在船長霍克后面爬行，掉下舞臺，落到觀眾席前，盡管沒有傷著。
沉寂的觀眾席上響起雷鳴般掌聲的時候，我聽到我女婿對我女兒說：“我們也該有個孩子了。這兒所有其他成年人都在觀看他們孩子的表演，而我，一個30歲的人卻在觀看丈母娘穿著鱷魚服裝從舞臺上掉了下來。”
——盧.庫克(亞歷山大，弗吉尼亞州)
笑破肚子英語笑話大全(三)
Fat Man and Thin Man 饑荒可能是你造成的
A very thin man met a very fat man in the hotel lobby. "From your looks," said the fat man, "there might have been a famine." "Yes," was the reply, "and from your looks, you might have caused it."
在旅館大廳里，一個非常瘦的人遇到了一個非常胖的人。 胖子說：“看你的樣子，可能有過饑荒。” “是的，”瘦子回答說，“看你的樣子，饑荒可能是你造成的。”
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