最正宗的英語笑話匯集
她要買什么
A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma’am, we haven't had any for a while, and it doesn't look as if we'll be getting soon.Horrified, the manager came runningover to the customer and said, Of course, we'll have somesoon, We placed an order last week. Then the manager drew the clerk aside: Never, never, never say we are out of anything say we've got it on order and it's coming.Now what was it she wanted? Rain, said the clerk.
一個商店經(jīng)理聽見一個店員對顧客說:不,夫人,這會兒沒有,一時半會兒看來也不會有。經(jīng)理驚恐萬分地跑到顧客跟前說:當(dāng)然,馬上就會有的。我們上周訂了貨。然后經(jīng)理把店員拉到一邊:千萬,千萬,千萬不要說我們沒有什么,說我們已經(jīng)訂了貨,貨馬上就到,F(xiàn)在你說她要買什么? 雨,店員說。
奇怪的關(guān)系
Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!
四個好朋友在醫(yī)院里碰面了,他們的妻子正在生產(chǎn).護(hù)士過來對第一個男人說:"恭喜,你得了雙胞胎."男人說:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼蘇達(dá)雙子隊的.經(jīng)理."過了一會兒,護(hù)士過來對第二個男人說:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜歡:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,護(hù)士跑來對第三個男人說:"恭喜,你得了2對雙胞胎."男人很開心地說:"真令人啼笑皆非,我為四季賓館工作."他們?nèi)齻都很高興,但第四個伙伴急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻,咒罵上帝并用頭撞墻.他們問他有什么不對勁,他回答道:"什么不對勁?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"
The Use of a Handsaw
At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse.
Let's try it. " my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her inside.
Scanning the menu, my wife told the waitress, " I' 11 have chopped sirloin, please.
The waitress turned to me, eyed my saw and commented, "And I see that. you, sir, have come for our T-bone special.
在集市上,我和妻子買了一些五金用品,包括一個手鋸。我們返回汽車時剛好路過一家牛排店。 “我們嘗嘗吧,”我妻子建議說。盡管我覺得拿著鋸有點傻乎乎的,但還是隨她走了進(jìn)去。 我妻子掃視了一下菜單對女招待說:“請給我來一份炒牛腰片。” 女招待轉(zhuǎn)向我,看了看我的鋸,說道:“我能看出,先生,你是來吃我們的T形骨特色菜的。”
You May Select可以選擇
The husband complained that his wife always cooked the same dish.
One day, the husband got home and asked his wife, "My dear, what will we eat today?"
The wife said, "You may select the dish today."
The husband was very glad and asked, "Which dishes are there today?"
"Cabbage."
"The others?"
"None."
"Then how to select?"
"Eat or not eat!" the wife said.
丈夫抱怨妻子總是做同樣的一種菜。
一天,丈夫回到家,問妻子:“親愛的,今天我們吃啥菜?”
妻子回答:“今天你可以選擇。” 丈夫感到非常高興,又問:“都有哪些菜呢?”
“炒白菜。”
“還有呢?”
“沒了。”
“那你要我怎么選呢?”
“吃還是不吃!”妻子一本正經(jīng)地說道。
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