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10篇英語笑話帶翻譯
How to Become Rich 如何致富
Little brother: I saw you kiss my elder sister, and if you don't give me a nickel I'll tell my father.
Sister's boyfriend: No, don't do that. Here's a nickel.
Little brother: That makes a buck and a quarter I've made this month.
弟弟:我看見你親我姐姐了,如果你不給我五分錢,我就告訴我爸。
姐姐的男朋友:不要那樣做。給你五分錢。
弟弟:我這個月已經(jīng)賺了一塊兩毛五了。
But the teacher cried 可是老師哭了
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled(被寵壞的) . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum(亂發(fā)脾氣) . Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry?
Cry? John asked. No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!
六歲的約翰嬌生慣養(yǎng)。他的父親知道這一點,可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什么不是哭,就是鬧。他第一天上學(xué)才離開祖母的懷抱。
約翰放學(xué)了,他奶奶在門口接他并問道:學(xué)校怎么樣?你過的好嗎?哭了沒有?
哭?約翰問,不,我沒哭,可老師哭了。
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問,“發(fā)生了什么事?”
“一個男孩咬了我一口,”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎?”媽媽問。
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他,”伊凡說。“他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。”
醉酒 Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
一天,父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處于那種對什么事都很感興趣的年齡,老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發(fā)問道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父親回答說,“你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子說,“那兒只有一個警察呀!”
Stupid Question
Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people passed his door, and a lot of them stopped and asked him, "What's the time, please?"
After a few months, Dan said to himself, "I'm not going to answer all those stupid people any more. I'm going to buy a big clock and put it upon the wall here." Then he did so.
“Now people aren't going to stop and ask me the time," he thought happily.
But after that, a lot of people stopped, looked at the clock and then asked Dan, "Is that clock right?”
愚蠢的問題
丹在一個大城市的某個俱樂部當(dāng)守門人。每天都有數(shù)千人經(jīng)過他的門口,而且許多人都會停下來問他:“請問現(xiàn)在幾點?”
幾個月后,丹想:“我不想再回答這些蠢人提出的問題了,我要去買一只大鐘,把它掛在這兒的墻上。”于是他買了一只鐘,把它掛在了墻上。
“現(xiàn)在人們總不會再停下來問我時間了。”他高興地想。
可是打那以后,每天仍有許多人停下來,看看鐘,然后問丹:“這鐘準(zhǔn)嗎?”
Intelligent son 聰明的兒子
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"Certainly"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
有一天,父親讓八歲的兒子去寄一封信,兒子已經(jīng)拿著信跑了,父親才想起信封上沒寫地址和收信人的名字。
兒子回來后,父親問他:“你把信丟進郵筒了嗎?” “當(dāng)然”“你沒看見信封上沒有寫地址和收信人名字嗎?”
“我當(dāng)然看見信封上什么也沒寫”“那你為什么不拿回來呢?”
“我還以為你不寫地址和收信人,是為了不想讓我知道你把信寄給誰呢!”
Sharing the Apples 分蘋果
Harry was given two apples, a small one and a large one, by his Mum. Share them with your sister, she said.
So Harry gave the small one to his little sister and started touching into the large one.
Cor! said his sister, If Mum had given them to me I'd have given you the large one and had the small one myself.
Well, said Harry, that's what you've got, so what are you worrying about?
媽媽給了哈里兩個蘋果,一個大一點,另一個小點兒。跟妹妹分著吃。媽媽說。
所以,哈里就把小個的給了妹妹,自己開始啃那個大個的。
哼,妹妹說,如果媽媽給了我,我會把大的給你,把小的留給自己的。
對呀,哈里說,你拿到的不就是小的嗎?還著什么急呀?
我希望您的面包病好了
I was making rolls and, needing a warm place for the dough to rise, put the bowl in a heating pad. Then I left the house on an errand(使命,差事) . When I came back, I found this note from my son: "Dear Mom, I hope your bread gets better."
我在做面包,需要把面團放在一個暖和點的地方使它發(fā)起來。我把面盆放在電熱褥里,后來就出去干別的活去了。等我回家時,發(fā)現(xiàn)兒子留下一張紙條,上面寫著:“親愛的媽媽,我希望您的面包已經(jīng)病好了。”
A Present 凱特的禮物
Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.
凱特:媽媽,你知道我要給你一件什么生日禮物嗎?
媽媽:不知道,寶貝,是什么呀?
凱特:一把漂亮的茶壺。
媽媽:可是我已經(jīng)有一把漂亮的茶壺了呀。
凱特:不,你沒有了。我剛剛把它給摔了。
Two Birds 兩只鳥
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老師: 這兒有兩只鳥,一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀嗎?
學(xué)生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老師:請說說看。
學(xué)生:燕子旁邊的就是麻雀,麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
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