英語笑話精彩

英語笑話精彩合集

　　笑話是幽默的載體，一個成功的笑話能流傳千古，聽者和講者都會感到快樂、欣喜，拍掌叫好!以下是小編為大家準備的英語笑話精彩合集，一起來爆笑吧!

　　年長者階層

　　During the doctor's periodic visit to my elderly mother, I told him that Mother would be celebrating her 98th birthday in few days. Delighted by the news, he bent down and gave her a kiss for the occasion. He then announced that he, too, would be celebrating a birthday in few days and asked for a kiss in return.When he left, my mother shook her head in disgust. "Can you imagine, " she said. "Seventy dollars and I had to kiss him too!醫生按期來探視我的老母。我告訴他母親不幾天就要慶祝她98歲的生日了。醫生聽了也很高興，為此，他彎下腰來親了她一下。然后他說不幾天他也要慶祝自己的生日，并要求她還他一個吻。醫生走后，我母親厭惡地搖搖頭。“你能想象嗎，”她說，“付了他70元，我還得親他!”

　　英語笑話精彩合集(二)

　　保證沒走錯To be on the Safe Side

　　In a cinema during a performance one of the audience gets up, makes his way along the row of seats and goes out into the foyer.

　　在一家電影院里，一名觀眾在演出期間站了起來，沿著他那排位子走到休息室去了。

　　A few minutes later he returns and asks the man sitting at the head of the row:

　　幾分鐘后，他回到那排位子并問坐在首位的'那位男士道：

　　"Excuse me, was it your foot I stepped on when I was going out a moment ago?"

　　“對不起，請問我剛才出去的時候是踩著你的腳嗎?”

　　"Yes, but it doesn't really matter. It didn't hurt at all."

　　“是的，不過沒什么關系，一點也不疼。”

　　"Oh, no, it isn't that. I only want to make sure that this is my row."

　　“噢，不，我不是這個意思。我只是想確認一下這是不是我的那排位子。”

　　英語笑話精彩合集(三)

　　沒把頭發全剪掉啊

　　Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was at the barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him."Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time.""Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time.""Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time.""Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."麥爾斯有時在上班時間去理發館理發，但這是違反辦公室規定的：職員只能利用自己的時間理發。一天，正當麥爾斯理發時，經理碰巧也進來理發，而且就坐在他旁邊。“你好，麥爾斯，”經理說。“我看到你在上班時間理發了。”“是的，先生。正是這樣。”麥爾斯平靜地承認了�？上壬�，你看，頭發是在上班時間長的。“不全都是吧，”經理立刻說，“有一些是在你自己的.時間里長的。”“對呀，先生，你說得很對。”麥爾斯禮貌地回答說，“但我并沒有把頭發全都剪掉啊。”

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