- 相關(guān)推薦
9分雅思大作文深度講解
In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
構(gòu)思過程：
獨(dú)居，也就是一個人生活，顯然有利有弊，如果選擇一邊倒觀點(diǎn)顯然都站不住腳，很難論證，需要分開討論平均用力。主體段一段寫好處，一段寫壞處。抽象類話題往往在尋找觀點(diǎn)上比較困難或者沒有方向，建議大家按照文波雅思教授的方法分類提取觀點(diǎn)。本篇考官分別從個人和經(jīng)濟(jì)的角度出發(fā)，層次分明論證清晰，值得大家學(xué)習(xí)。
Introduction
1)背景導(dǎo)入，說尤其在發(fā)達(dá)國家的大城市，最近幾年獨(dú)居變得更為常見。
In recent years it has become far more normal for people to live alone,particularly in large cities in the developed world.
(句型結(jié)構(gòu)：It + adj. + for sb. to do sth. + 后置狀語補(bǔ)充，注意完成時has become;注意particularly的用法，舉特例方便直接，類似especially但語氣更強(qiáng); in the developed world比in developed countries更地道;far more修飾normal代入感強(qiáng))
2)觀點(diǎn)句，我認(rèn)為這個趨勢的影響好壞各半。
In my opinion, this trend could have both positive and negative consequences in equal measure.
(句型結(jié)構(gòu)：簡單句+后置狀語;虛擬語氣could have;consequences高分詞;in equal measure高分搭配)
Main Paragraphs 1
1)段首概括，一個人住在個人和宏觀經(jīng)濟(jì)上都有好處。
The rise in one-person households can be seen as positive for both personal and broader economic reasons.
(句型結(jié)構(gòu)：被動+后置狀語并列;主語the rise in one-person households替換more people choose to live alone，地道高分搭配準(zhǔn)確;seen as語法得分點(diǎn);personal & broader economic詞匯得分點(diǎn))
2)分論點(diǎn)1：個人層面上，獨(dú)居的人可能變得比和家人一起住的人更獨(dú)立自強(qiáng)(常見觀點(diǎn))
On an individual level, people who choose to live alone may become more independent and self-reliant than those who live with family members.
(句型結(jié)構(gòu)：前置狀語+主語who從句+謂語比較級+賓語who從句，高分復(fù)合句;self-reliant高分詞，展示詞匯量)
3)舉例論證+線性推理展開：獨(dú)居年輕人需要學(xué)做飯，做家務(wù)，付賬單，管賬等重要的生活技能;這樣的人增加了就是種正面的發(fā)展
A young adult who lives alone, for example, will need to learn to cook, clean, pay bills and manage his or her budget, all of which are valuable life skills; an increase in the number of such individuals can certainly be seen as a positive development.
(句型結(jié)構(gòu)：主語從句+插入語+不定式并列+賓語all of which從句;簡單分句+被動;valuable得分詞;an increase語法得分點(diǎn);such individuals指代準(zhǔn)確，語法和詞匯得分點(diǎn))
4)分論點(diǎn)2：經(jīng)濟(jì)角度上看，獨(dú)居的趨勢會導(dǎo)致住房需求增加(加分觀點(diǎn))
From an economic perspective, the trend towards living alone will result ingreater demand for housing.
(句型結(jié)構(gòu)：前置狀語+后置定語+簡單句;trend towards living搭配準(zhǔn)確，詞匯和語法得分點(diǎn);result in學(xué)術(shù)搭配，詞匯得分點(diǎn);demand for housing詞匯得分點(diǎn))
5) 舉例說明展開：這樣會讓建筑公司，房產(chǎn)中介和其它依賴業(yè)主購買產(chǎn)品的公司獲益。
This is likely to benefit the construction industry, estate agents and a whole host of other companies that rely on homeowners to buy their products or services.
(句型結(jié)構(gòu)：簡單句+賓語并列+賓語that從句;likely to benefit學(xué)術(shù)搭配，詞匯得分點(diǎn);construction industry & estate agents展示詞匯量;rely on homeowners詞匯得分點(diǎn))
Main Paragraph 2
1)段首概括：上述個人和經(jīng)濟(jì)的論點(diǎn)可以反向考慮;(簡介易懂，掛鉤前文暗含對比，CC滿分技巧)
However, the personal and economic arguments given above can be considered from the opposite angle.
(句型結(jié)構(gòu)：轉(zhuǎn)折+簡單句被動;given above非謂語修飾，語法得分點(diǎn);be considered from學(xué)術(shù)搭配，詞匯語法得分點(diǎn);the opposite angle詞匯得分點(diǎn))
2)分論點(diǎn)1：和獨(dú)立的好處相比，獨(dú)居的人會感覺孤獨(dú)、隔離和不安(常見觀點(diǎn))
Firstly, rather than the positive feeling of increased independence, people who live alone may experience feelings of loneliness, isolation and worry.
(句型結(jié)構(gòu)：前置狀語+主語從句+賓語并列;rather than無痕跡對比，語法和CC得分點(diǎn);loneliness & isolation高分詞)
3)舉例對比+論證展開：他們錯過了家人或室友提供的對話和支持，還要承擔(dān)過重的家庭賬單和職責(zé);這樣來說，這個趨勢就是負(fù)面的
They miss out on the emotional support and daily conversation that family or flatmates can provide, and they must bear the weight of all household bills and responsibilities; in this sense, perhaps the trend towards living alone is a negative one.
(句型結(jié)構(gòu)：簡單句并列+賓語從句+簡單分句;miss out on地道搭配;emotional support, daily conversation & flatmates詞匯加分點(diǎn);bear the weight of高分搭配，詞匯得分點(diǎn);a negative one指代準(zhǔn)確避免重復(fù)，語法得分點(diǎn))
4)分論點(diǎn)2：從經(jīng)濟(jì)角度來說，住房需求增加會推高房價(jià)和租金(加分觀點(diǎn))
Secondly, from the financial point of view, a rise in demand for housing is likely to push up property prices and rents.
(句式結(jié)構(gòu):前置狀語+簡單句;the financial point of view替換an economic perspective;likely to push up學(xué)術(shù)搭配;property prices & rents詞匯得分點(diǎn))
5)對比論證+說明展開：雖然讓企業(yè)獲益，但大眾包括獨(dú)居的人都要面臨更高的居住成本
While this may benefit some businesses, the general population, including those who live alone, will be faced with rising living costs.
(句式結(jié)構(gòu)：讓步句+插入語補(bǔ)充+被動;be faced with地道搭配;rising living costs詞匯得分點(diǎn))
Conclusion
1)一句話總結(jié)：獨(dú)居增加對個人和經(jīng)濟(jì)影響有好有壞
In conclusion, the increase in one-person households will have both beneficial and detrimental effects on individuals and on the economy.
(句式結(jié)構(gòu)：總結(jié)+簡單句+賓補(bǔ);detrimental不利的，高分詞，beneficial & detrimental替換positive & negative;兩個on介詞短語并列，語法得分點(diǎn))
評分
TR: 兩面觀點(diǎn)完整回答問題，分論點(diǎn)詳實(shí)有深度，首尾段觀點(diǎn)總結(jié)到位，9分
CC: 全篇結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，整齊，行文連接通順，易于理解，沒有明顯模板痕跡，9分
LR: 詞匯非常多樣，同義替換到位，搭配地道準(zhǔn)確，9分
GA: 句型多變，復(fù)合句實(shí)用靈活，沒有語法錯誤，9分
(13 sentences, 306 words, band 9)
經(jīng)典的4段13句模板，大家可以模仿哦，注意，這里所謂的模板，是指他所熟悉和擅長的一種行文結(jié)構(gòu)，而并非具體的模板句型。祝早日與雅思分手。
【9分雅思大作文深度講解】相關(guān)文章：
雅思備考關(guān)鍵技巧講解：語法03-19
雅思大作文Argumentation題型開頭段方法講解03-06
雅思聽力三大失分點(diǎn)01-22
雅思寫作6大扣分項(xiàng)03-31
雅思寫作九大細(xì)節(jié)問題03-03
雅思閱讀三大丟分點(diǎn)03-30
雅思聽力四大盲點(diǎn)03-04
雅思聽力三大備考階段03-04