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歡樂(lè)無(wú)限的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
導(dǎo)語(yǔ)：笑話(huà)來(lái)源于生活，卻又可以讓我們的生多些歡樂(lè)、開(kāi)心，現(xiàn)在，YJBYS小編為大家整理了歡樂(lè)無(wú)限的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，一起來(lái)開(kāi)心爆笑下。
1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
一個(gè)小女孩和她的老師正在談?wù)撚嘘P(guān)鯨魚(yú)的事情。她的老師說(shuō)：“一頭鯨魚(yú)從身體構(gòu)造的角度看，是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。因?yàn)楸M管鯨魚(yú)是一種非常巨大的哺乳動(dòng)物，可它的嗓子非常小。”那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)約拿(一位西伯來(lái)先知)就是被鯨魚(yú)吞掉的。她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說(shuō)：“從身體構(gòu)造角度來(lái)講，鯨魚(yú)是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。”那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)：“那等我到了天堂，就去問(wèn)問(wèn)約拿。”她的老師問(wèn)：“那么，假如約拿下了地獄怎么辦?”那個(gè)小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話(huà)，你就去問(wèn)他。”
2 After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin he'd originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "What's so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, "It has a lifetime warranty."
在將母親下葬9個(gè)月后，當(dāng)?shù)貧泝x館的一個(gè)客戶(hù)終于攢夠了錢(qián)去買(mǎi)那副他早就相中的價(jià)值不菲的棺材了。他把母親的棺材挖了出來(lái)，將尸體轉(zhuǎn)移到了那副新的鋼制棺材中。“這副棺材有什么特別?”，我問(wèn)葬禮的承辦人。他回答說(shuō)，“這種棺材終生保修。
3 Once I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were five lottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much for your help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "
有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個(gè)我曾幫助過(guò)的朋友寄來(lái)的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票，都被刮過(guò)了，露出了數(shù)字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫(xiě)道，“作為禮物，我給您買(mǎi)了些彩票----真遺憾，您沒(méi)中獎(jiǎng)。”
4 A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
一份報(bào)紙組織了一場(chǎng)競(jìng)賽，為下面的問(wèn)題征集最佳答案：“如果盧浮宮起了火，而你只能救出一幅畫(huà)，你將救出哪一幅?”
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
獲獎(jiǎng)的答案是：“最接近門(mén)口的那一幅。”
5 One day, Tim's mathematics teacher looked at his homework and saw that he had got all his sums right. The teacher was very pleased-and rather surprised. He called Tim to his desk and said to him, "You got all your homework right this time, Tim.What happened? Did your father help you?"
一天，蒂姆的數(shù)學(xué)老師看了他的作業(yè)，發(fā)現(xiàn)他全做對(duì)了。老師很高興，同時(shí)也十分驚訝。他把蒂姆叫到桌前說(shuō)："蒂姆，你這次的作業(yè)全都做對(duì)了，怎么回事?你爸爸幫你做了嗎?"
"No, sir. He was too busy last night, so I had to do it allmyself," said Tim."
不，先生，我爸爸昨天很忙，我不得不全由自己做了。"
6 Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
老師：湯姆，您為什么每天上學(xué)遲到?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go Slow".
湯姆：我每次路過(guò)拐角，一個(gè)路標(biāo)上面寫(xiě)著："學(xué)校----慢行。"
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