神級搞笑的英語笑話
導(dǎo)語：一個人的聰明才智會在幽默的談吐中閃光，并且會深深吸引他人。下面，YJBYS小編YJ給大家收集整理了神級搞笑的英語笑話，增加幽默細胞，聰明的你一定會成為閃光點。
1、. The Fish Net
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
魚網(wǎng)
你能告訴我魚網(wǎng)是什么做的'嗎，安? 老師發(fā)問道。
把許多小孔用繩子栓在一起就成了魚網(wǎng)了。 小女孩回答道。
2、The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.
I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....
新老師
9月1日， 喬治放學(xué)回到家里。
喬治，你喜歡你們的新老師嗎? 媽媽問。
媽媽，我不喜歡，因為她說3加3得6, 可后來又說2加4也得6。
3、The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party.Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment,he said,"Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow.When the door open,push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well,gosh," was the reply,"You're not coming empty-hangded,are you?吝嗇鬼請客
一個出了名的吝嗇鬼終于決定要請一次客了.他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓,找中間那個門,然后用你的胳膊肘按門鈴.門開了之后,再用你的腳把門推開.”
“為什么要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“你的雙手得拿禮物啊.天哪,你總不會空著手來吧?”吝嗇鬼回答.
4 、I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist:What's your problem?
Patient:I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist:How long has this been going on?
Patient:Ever since I was an egg!
精神病醫(yī)師：你哪里不舒服?
病人：我認為我是一只雞.
精神病醫(yī)師：這種情況從什么時候開始的?
病人：從我還是一只蛋的時候開始.
5、Boxing and Running Dan is teaching his son how to box. As he does so, he left his friend, "This is a tough world, so I’m teaching my boy to fight." Friend: "But suppose he comes up against someone much bigger than he is, who’s also been taught how to box." Dan: "I’m teaching him how to run, too."
拳擊和賽跑
丹在教他的兒子怎樣拳擊。他告訴他的朋友：“這是一個粗暴的世界，所以我要教我的兒子怎么去拼搏。” 朋友：“如果他碰上的對手是一個比他高大，健壯而且也會拳擊的人怎么辦?” 丹：“我也會教他怎么樣賽跑呢。”
6、 Old Farmer Johnson was dying.The family was standing around his bed.With a low voice he said to his wife:"When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."
Wife:"No,I can't marry anyone after you."
Johnson:"But I want you to."
Wife:"But why?"
Johnson:"Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
譯文：
老農(nóng)約翰遜就要死了.他的家人都站在床邊.他聲音低沉地對妻子說：“我死后,我想你嫁給農(nóng)夫瓊斯.”
妻子說：“不,在你死后,我不能嫁給任何人.”
約翰遜：“但我希望你這么做.”
妻子：“為什么?”
約翰遜：“因為瓊斯曾在一筆販馬的交易中欺騙了我.”
7、 I'm Trying to Stop It
"Boy,why have you got cotton-wool in your ear?Is it infected?"
"No,sir,but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other ,so I am trying to stop it."
“孩子,你為什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了嗎?”
“沒有,老師.可是你昨天說你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵里進,一個耳朵里出,所以我要把它堵在里面.”
8、“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars!Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“對不起,夫人,為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元.”
“20美元!為什么?不是說好只要4美元.”
“是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四個病人嚇跑了.”
9、 TWO：Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract.Now,can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ,in the summer the days are long,and in the winter the days are short.
老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理.現(xiàn)在,誰給我舉個例子?
約翰：嗯,在夏天天都長,在冬天天都短.
10、The warden of the prison felt sorry for one of his inmates because every weekend on Visitor’s Day, most of the prisoners had family members and friends coming, but poor George always sat alone in his cell. So one Visitor’s Day, the warden called George to his office and said, "I notice you’ve never had any visitors, George." Sympathetic, he put his hand on George’s shoulder. "Tell me, don’t you have any friends or family?" George replied, "Oh, sure I do, Warden. It’s just that they’re all in here!"
典獄長對獄中一位囚犯深感同情，因為每逢周末的探訪日，大多數(shù)囚犯都有家人或朋友來訪，但是可憐的喬治總是孤伶伶地坐在自己的囚室中。 因此在一個探訪日，典獄長把喬治叫到辦公室說：“喬治，我注意到從來沒有人來探望過你。”他滿懷同情地把手放在喬治的肩膀上：“告訴我，你沒有任何朋友或家人嗎?” 喬治回答：“喔!當然有，典獄長，只不過他們?nèi)荚谶@里面!”
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