爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話

時(shí)間：2020-10-15 20:52:51 英語(yǔ)笑話我要投稿

爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全2015

　　父親在哪?

爆笑英語(yǔ)笑話大全2015

　　Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

　　"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

　　The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。

　　“看，”哥哥說(shuō)，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”

　　“是啊，”弟弟說(shuō)道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”

　　哥哥想了一會(huì)兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當(dāng)時(shí)正在畫這些畫唄。”

　　A Smart Parrot 聰明的鸚鵡

　　A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the strings1. "Well, this is a highly trained parrot. If you pull the red string he speaks French; if you pull the green string he speaks German," replies the shop keeper.

　　"And what happens if I pull both the strings?" our curious shopper inquires.

　　"I fall off my perch2 you fool!!" screeches3 the parrot.

　　有個(gè)人去寵物店買鸚鵡。在那里，他看見有只鸚鵡的左腿被紅線系住，右腿則被綠線系住。對(duì)此他感到不解，于是他問該店的老板，老板回答說(shuō)：“這只鸚鵡受過特殊的訓(xùn)練。如果拉紅線，它就講法語(yǔ)，拉綠線，它則講德語(yǔ)。”

　　這個(gè)好奇的人接著問，“要是我兩條線都拉，會(huì)怎么樣呢?”

　　“我就會(huì)掉下來(lái)了，你這個(gè)傻瓜!!”鸚鵡尖叫著說(shuō)。

　　Don't Argue with Children 不要和小孩爭(zhēng)論

　　A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

　　The teacher said it was physically1 impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

　　The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.

　　Irritated, the teacher reiterated2 that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

　　The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

　　The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

　　The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

　　一個(gè)小女孩和她的老師正在談?wù)撚嘘P(guān)鯨魚的事情。

　　她的老師說(shuō)：“一頭鯨魚從身體構(gòu)造的.角度看，是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。因?yàn)楸M管鯨魚是一種非常巨大的哺乳動(dòng)物，可它的嗓子非常小。”

　　那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)約拿(一位西伯來(lái)先知)就是被鯨魚吞掉的。

　　她的老師非常生氣，她再次告訴小女孩說(shuō)：“從身體構(gòu)造角度來(lái)講，鯨魚是不可能吞掉一個(gè)人的。”

　　那個(gè)小女孩說(shuō)：“那等我到了天堂，就去問問約拿。”

　　她的老師問：“那么，假如約拿下了地獄怎么辦?”

　　那個(gè)小女孩回答：“如果是那樣的話，你就去問他。”