最搞笑的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
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My Sister's Fingers
Teacher: Kevin, why are you late this time?
Kevin: Please sir, I bruised two fingers knocking in a nail at home.
Teacher: I don't see any bandages.
Kevin: Oh, they weren't my fingers! I told my little sister to hold the nail.
我妹妹的手指頭老師：凱溫，這次你怎么又遲到了?凱溫：對(duì)不起，老師，我在家釘釘子，砸壞了兩個(gè)手指頭。老師：怎么沒(méi)有扎繃帶呀?凱溫：噢，砸的不是我的手指頭，我叫小妹妹扶著釘子的。
天氣怎么樣
The Climate of New Zealand
Teacher: Matthew, what is the climate of New Zealand?
Matthew: Very Cold, sir.
Teacher: Wrong.
Matthew: But, sir! When they send us meat it always arrives frozen!
新西蘭的氣候老師：馬修，新西蘭的氣候怎么樣?馬修：先生，那里的天氣很冷。老師：錯(cuò)了。馬修：可是，先生!從那兒運(yùn)來(lái)的豬肉都凍得硬邦邦的。
Improvement
One student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
"Fine. I used to be one who couldn't understand the English men, and now it's the English men who can't understand me."
一位學(xué)生對(duì)另一位說(shuō)：“你的 英語(yǔ) 最近學(xué)的怎么樣?”“很好，我過(guò)去不懂英國(guó)人說(shuō)話，可現(xiàn)在是英國(guó)人不懂我的話了。”
人們什么時(shí)候說(shuō)話最少?When Do People Talk Least?
Student A: When do people talk least?
Student B: In February.
Student A: Why?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
學(xué)生甲：人們?cè)谑裁磿r(shí)候說(shuō)話最少?學(xué)生乙：在二月。學(xué)生甲：為什么呢?學(xué)生乙：因?yàn)槎率且荒曛凶疃痰囊粋�(gè)月。
"孩子"的復(fù)數(shù)形式
Teacher: What is the plural of man, Tom?
Tom: Men.
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
Tom: Twins.
"孩子"的復(fù)數(shù)形式老師：湯姆，‘男人’這個(gè)詞的復(fù)數(shù)形式是什么?
湯姆：男人們。老師：答得好。那‘孩子’的復(fù)數(shù)形式呢?湯姆：雙胞胎。
除了音樂(lè)All Except the Music
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?""Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位熱心的年輕教師想讓她的學(xué)生多了解一點(diǎn)優(yōu)秀的古典音樂(lè)，就安排了一天下午去聽(tīng)音樂(lè)會(huì)。為了使這次活動(dòng)能給大家留下更深的印象，她請(qǐng)大家喝檸檬汽水、吃點(diǎn)心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回來(lái)上汽車(chē)的時(shí)候，她問(wèn)小薩莉：“你今天玩得好嗎?”“噢，好極了，小姐，” 薩莉說(shuō)，“除了音樂(lè)其它都很好。”
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