少兒英語(yǔ)笑話集錦2015
我可以回家了
Now i can go home
One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question.I'll permit him or her to go home earlier.” The next day，when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard daubed.He was very angry and asked，“Who did it?Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob，“Now，I can go home，Good-bye，Sir! ”
我 可 以 回 家 了
一天，放學(xué)以后，老師對(duì)他的學(xué)生們說(shuō)：“明天上午，如果你們當(dāng)中的任何一個(gè)同學(xué)能回答我的第一個(gè)問(wèn)題，我就準(zhǔn)許他或她最先回家。”第二天，老師走進(jìn)教室時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)黑板已被亂涂，他非常生氣地問(wèn)：“誰(shuí)涂的? 請(qǐng)站起來(lái)。”鮑勃說(shuō)：“先生，是我，現(xiàn)在我可以回家了，再見(jiàn)。”
Cry
"Tom, what's the matter with your brother?" asked the mother in the kitchen. "He's crying."
"Oh, nothing, Mum," replied Tom. "I'm eating my cake. He is crying because I won't give him any."
"But has he finished his own cake?"
"Yes." said Tom. "And he also cried when I was helping him finish that."
“湯姆，你弟弟怎么了?” 媽媽在廚房里問(wèn)。“他在哭。”
“沒(méi)事兒，媽媽?zhuān)?rdquo;湯姆答道。“我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因?yàn)槲也唤o他吃。”
“他已經(jīng)吃完自己的了么?”
“是的。”“我?guī)退酝陼r(shí)，他也哭了。”
可憐的男人
A man sat at a bar, had the saddest hangdog expression.
Bartender: "What's the matter? Are you having troubles with your wife?"
The man: "We had a fight, and she told me that she wasn't going to speak to me for a month."
Bartender: "That should make you happy."
The man: "No, the month is up today!"
一個(gè)男人坐在酒吧里，傷心至極。
酒吧招待：“你怎么了?跟老婆鬧矛盾了?”
男人：“我們吵了一架，她說(shuō)一個(gè)月都不跟我說(shuō)話。”
酒吧招待：“那你應(yīng)該高興才是啊!”
男人：“不，今天是這個(gè)月的.最后一天。”
太黑了，看不見(jiàn)
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."
晚飯后，父親和母親都忙著和客人玩麻將，這時(shí)母親忽然想起點(diǎn)兒事來(lái)，便對(duì)正在看電視的兒子說(shuō)道：“寶貝，去看看廚房里的燈是不是還開(kāi)著呢?” 過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，兒子回來(lái)說(shuō)：“媽?zhuān)瑥N房里太黑了，我根本就看不見(jiàn)。”
因禍得福 To Profit from a Misfortune
A man was a butterfingers. He had been suffering from unemployment for months.
At last he found a job in a chinaware house. He had worked only a few days when he dropped a large vase.
The manager summoned him to the office and told him that money would be deducted from his wages every week until the vase was paid for. He asked: "How much did it cost?" "Five hundred dollars." said the manager. "Oh, that's wonderful," he said happily, "I'm so happy that I have got a steady job at last."
有一個(gè)人很粗心，老是打爛東西。他已失業(yè)好幾個(gè)月了。
最后他在一個(gè)瓷器店找到了一個(gè)工作�？墒遣鸥闪藥滋�，他就打爛了一個(gè)很大的花瓶。
經(jīng)理把他到辦公室去，告訴他每個(gè)星期都要扣他的工錢(qián)，直到賠償夠了為止。他就問(wèn)：“那個(gè)花瓶值多少錢(qián)?”經(jīng)理說(shuō)：“值500美元。”他很高興地說(shuō)：“啊!太妙了，我非常高興，終于有個(gè)穩(wěn)定的工作啦。”
我干得怎么樣 How did I do
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner...NOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"
一名新警察與老警察開(kāi)著警車(chē)第一次出去巡邏。 他們得到命令去疏散一群閑逛的人，于是他們開(kāi)車(chē)去了那條街，看到路口站著一群人。
新警察搖下窗戶：“大家注意了，快離開(kāi)這里。”人們看了他幾眼，沒(méi)理他。他喊起來(lái)：“離開(kāi)這里，馬上離開(kāi)!”大家都不知道怎么回事，但是在他的威脅下還是離開(kāi)了。
新警察對(duì)他第一次執(zhí)行公務(wù)的結(jié)果很滿意，對(duì)老警察說(shuō)：“我干得怎么樣?”“你做得很好，”老警察笑著說(shuō)，“尤其是在公共汽車(chē)站。”
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