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簡短爆笑英語笑話（精選11篇）
要是有一則笑話解決不了的事，那就兩則笑話，看笑話，能讓我們變得開心，以下是小編精心整理的簡短爆笑英語笑話（精選11篇），歡迎大家分享。
簡短爆笑英語笑話 1
Jimmy is three years old.
吉米3歲了。
One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"
一天，他正在窗口觀望，夜幕降臨。他突然喊道：“媽媽，媽媽，快來關窗!”
"Why? Its not cold, sonny."
“為什么?天不冷呀，寶貝�！�
"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."
“是的，媽媽，可黑夜會進來�！�
簡短爆笑英語笑話 2
A:what is your name? 你叫啥名?
B:Hu胡(諧音:誰)
A:you~你
B:Hu~胡
A:Who?誰?
B:yes, I am~是，我就是
A:I want to know your name我只是想知道你的名字
B:Hu胡啊
A:You!你!
B:Yes, my name是啊，我的名字啊
A:So tell me about it那就告訴我啊
B:Hu!胡!
A:You! What is your name!? 你!你叫啥名?!
B:Hu is my name!我就叫胡
A:O~哦
簡短爆笑英語笑話 3
-How much does a polar bear weigh?
-How much?
-Enough to break the ice! Hi, my name is John。
-你知道北極熊有多重嗎?
-多重呢?
-足夠破冰(雙關：打破沉默)!你好，我叫約翰~!
簡短爆笑英語笑話 4
Harry: "My big brother shaves every day."
哈里：“我哥哥每天都刮臉�！�
Henry: "My brother shaves fifty times a day."
亨利：“我哥哥每天刮50次臉。”
Harry: "Is he crazy?"
哈里：“他瘋了嗎?”
Henry: "No, hes a barber."
亨利：“沒有，他是一名理發師�！�
簡短爆笑英語笑話 5
“i am sorry”。
“i am sorry， too” 外國人回答。
“i am sorry three” 我道。
“what are you sorry for?” 外國人問。
“i am sorry five” 我說……
簡短爆笑英語笑話 6
Returning from a golf outing(遠足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?
Uncle Richie and I dont play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答復) . We just play to have fun.
Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?
丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔?
我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，丈夫推諉說。我們打球只是為了好玩而已。
莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：那么，爸爸，誰覺得更好玩呢?
簡短爆笑英語笑話 7
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(閣樓) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(鐘樓) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away.
The third said, I baptized(洗禮) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!
三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的.閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什么都不能把它們趕走�！�
另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走�！�
第三個牧師說：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員......從此一只也沒有再回來過�！�
簡短爆笑英語笑話 8
拍賣!
When we decided to sell our house, we nailed "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long，the doorbell rang.”How much are you asking for the treesp"a young man asked.
我們決定賣掉我們的房子。于是，我們就在院前的'大樹上釘了兩塊牌子，上面寫著:“拍賣。”沒過多久，我們的門鈴就響了。一位年輕人問:“你們的樹想賣多少錢?”
簡短爆笑英語笑話 9
"Im going to draw a picture of God," a four-year-old girl said to her teacher.
一個4歲的.女孩對老師說：“我要畫一幅上帝的畫像�！�
"But nobody knows what God looks like," the teacher said.
老師說：“可誰也不知道上帝長什么模樣�！�
"They will know when Ive finished," came the reply.
“等我畫好后，他們就會知道的�！靶∨⒒卮鹫f。
簡短爆笑英語笑話 10
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau is known for his droll sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshman class, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I dont mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure theyre running!"
在開普吉拉多市的東南密蘇里州立大學上學的時候，我喜歡的幾個老師之中有一個以他的幽默感而出名。給新生上頭一節課，他給學生解釋在他課上的.紀律，他說：“我知道我的課經常會很枯燥乏味，所以我并不介意你們在課上看表。然而，我堅決不允許你們把表重重的摔在課桌上，以此來檢查你的表是不是還在走。”
簡短爆笑英語笑話 11
尷尬
My parents tour leader asked everyone to put their large suitcases outside their hotel rooms at bed time so the bus could be loaded for an early departure the next morning. Mom laid out their travelling clothes，repacked their things，took out her hearing aid and went to bed. Dad stepped into the hall to line up their luggage and the door clicked shut behind him，leaving him there in only his underwear.
我父母的導游負責人讓大家在晚上睡覺前把箱子放在飯店的房門外。這樣，化們可以在次日的凌晨早裝車，早出發。媽媽鋪開了旅行時穿的衣服，重新打了包。取下了助聽器睡覺去了。爸爸要去大廳放行李，門咔嚓一下在他身后撞上了。他只穿著內褲，束手無策。
"It sure was embarrassing，“he told us later.”Your mother couldnt hear me，so I had to go downstairs and across the street to the office to get another key.”
他事后告訴我們:“我的確很尷尬。你媽媽她又聽不見，沒辦法，我只好下樓穿過街到辦公室去要另一把鑰匙�！�
"But, Grandpa.”our son piped up.”What about the clothes in the suitcase you put in the hall?"
“但是，爺爺，”我們的兒子說:“那么你為什么不穿放在大廳的'箱子里的衣服呢?”
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