關(guān)于英語(yǔ)的小笑話
What a big deal A young businessman had just started his business, and rented a beautiful office. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear busy, the businessman picked up the phone and pretended that he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally, he hung up and asked the visitor. "Can I help you?" The man said, "Sure. I've come to install the phone."
我是來(lái)裝電話的一個(gè)年輕人剛剛開(kāi)始做生意，就租了一個(gè)漂亮的辦公室。一天，他坐在辦公室里，看到有一個(gè)人在外面，于是他就裝作生意很忙的樣子，拿起電話胡吹亂侃，還不停的甩出幾個(gè)大數(shù)字，好像在談一筆大買賣。到了最后，他終于掛了電話，問(wèn)來(lái)訪的人，“有事兒嘛?”那個(gè)人回答，“我是來(lái)給你安裝電話的。”
After supper, the parents were busy playing mah-jong with the guests. At this point the mother thought of something and said to her son who was watching TV, "Honey, go see if the kitchen light is on or not?" After a while, her son returned and said, "Ma, the kitchen is so dark that I cannot see it at all."
晚飯后，父親和母親都忙著和客人玩麻將，這時(shí)母親忽然想起點(diǎn)兒事來(lái)，便對(duì)正在看電視的兒子說(shuō)道：“寶貝，去看看廚房里的燈是不是還開(kāi)著呢?” 過(guò)了一會(huì)兒，兒子回來(lái)說(shuō)：“媽，廚房里太黑了，我根本就看不見(jiàn)。”
he great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch(故障) arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron(贊助人，主顧) was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub(涂抹，涂料) of brilliant red.What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage.That's it, replied Hogarth.But, where are the Israelites?They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?They're all drowned.
一天，有人請(qǐng)這位偉大的`畫(huà)家畫(huà)一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫(huà)剛開(kāi)始不久，酬金就出現(xiàn)了問(wèn)題�；舻纤拱l(fā)現(xiàn)，完成這幅畫(huà)后，他只能得到他想要的大約一半的錢。當(dāng)作品完成之后，那位主顧被請(qǐng)來(lái)看畫(huà)。其實(shí)，這幅畫(huà)不過(guò)是胡亂涂抹的一片鮮紅。這是什么?那位買主喊了起來(lái)。我要的是紅海，是那次著名的航海。這就是，霍迦斯回答說(shuō)�？墒且陨腥嗽谀膬�?他們都已經(jīng)渡過(guò)去了。埃及人在哪兒?他們?nèi)佳退懒恕?/p>
One day after school the teacher said to his students，“Tomorrow morning，if any one of you can answer my first question.I'll permit him or her to go home earlier.” The next day，when the teacher came into the classroom，he found the blackboard daubed.He was very angry and asked，“Who did it?Please stand up! ” “It' s me，”said Bob，“Now，I can go home，Good-bye，Sir! ”
一天，放學(xué)以后，老師對(duì)他的學(xué)生們說(shuō)：“明天上午，如果你們當(dāng)中的任何一個(gè)同學(xué)能回答我的第一個(gè)問(wèn)題，我就準(zhǔn)許他或她最先回家。”第二天，老師走進(jìn)教室時(shí)發(fā)現(xiàn)黑板已被亂涂，他非常生氣地問(wèn)：“誰(shuí)涂的? 請(qǐng)站起來(lái)。”鮑勃說(shuō)：“先生，是我，現(xiàn)在我可以回家了，再見(jiàn)。”
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knew his way around. What's more, he only speaks a few words of English."
The judge looked at the defendant and asked, "How much English can you speak?"
The defendant looked up and said, "Give me your wallet!"
"法官先生，我的當(dāng)事人被指控偷竊，這是多么不公正啊。他一周前才來(lái)到紐約，幾乎不認(rèn)路。而且，他只會(huì)說(shuō)幾個(gè)英語(yǔ)單詞。"
法官看了看被告，問(wèn)道："你會(huì)說(shuō)多少英文?"
被告抬起頭，說(shuō)："把你的錢包給我!"
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