托福寫作高分妙招
作文考試的目的在于通過這一命題形式，檢測考生的語言功底。TOEFL作文考試也不例外，它歸根結(jié)底仍是一種語言水平考試，運用英語進行書面表達的能力是測試的終極目的。
英文寫作反映考生綜合運用英語語言的能力，只有在宏觀和微觀兩個方面都把握得當才能構(gòu)成一篇完美的TOEFL作文。這里的宏觀是就一篇文章的框架結(jié)構(gòu)而言的，而微觀是指一篇文章的語篇要素，即文章中表達意義的微觀單位，包括單詞、短語和句子。語篇要素運用的純熟，能很好地反映一個人的語言修養(yǎng)，準確的用詞、多樣化的句式結(jié)構(gòu)以及精妙得體的修辭會使整篇文章熠熠生輝，極富感染力。
TOEFL作文考試作為一種語言測試方式，其重點在于考查考生的英語語言水平，對語篇要素的把握在寫作TOEFL作文的過程當中無疑是至關(guān)重要的。熟練恰當?shù)剡\用語篇要素會令你的作文妙筆生花，卓爾不群。
(一)語詞的選擇
寫作中用詞不準確是很容易犯的毛病，good，terrible，see，nice，kind，greatly，think，know，something等詞匯在學生作文中反復(fù)出現(xiàn)。這些詞本身并沒有問題，是英語常用詞，但是它們表達的意思過于模糊，很多情況下，應(yīng)該使用意義更加準確的詞。況且，學生老是使用這幾個詞會給人以表達形式單調(diào)，詞匯量貧乏，文章缺乏感染力的印象。下面的一些例子，通過換用一、兩個準確生動的詞語或是運用一些固定搭配及習語就使整個句子增色不少。
1.Original: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will add your social experience and help you to understand other peoples feelings and learn to be kind.
Revised: Solving trivial problems in the dorm will enrich your social experience and help you to understand other peoples feelings and learn to be considerate.
亮點評析
add，kind表達的含義都比較寬泛。add可以指數(shù)量上的增加，也可以指程度的加強，對于豐富經(jīng)驗、增加知識這個意思，用enrich會使表達更準確。kind從字面意義上講是好的、善良的，用kind來形容人無法具體地表現(xiàn)出一個人的性格特征到底怎樣，原句中是想表達考慮周到、體貼入微的特點，要準確表達這個含義應(yīng)選擇considerate。
2.Original: Science and technology have greatly influenced our lives and our society is changing very rapidly.
Revised: Science and technology have come to pervade every aspect of our lives and, as a result, society is changing at a speed which is quite unprecedented.
亮點評析
greatly，rapidly屬于常用詞，表示程度高、速度快，這樣的詞在表達效果上不夠具體，缺乏說服力，在修改后的句子中用了pervade every aspect of our lives就具體生動地表現(xiàn)出科技的影響力到底有多大，其影響力已滲透到我們生活的方方面面，at a speed which is quite unprecedented意為以一種前所未有的速度，形象地道出了變化速度之快。
3.Original: Young people tend to think that real life is as nice and interesting as it is in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think this kind of naive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and every one should learn to get used to common everyday life.
Revised: Young people tend to think that real life is as dramatic and fascinating as it is in the novels and movies, while more experienced adults think this kind of naive daydream will only be destroyed by later experiences and every one should learn to get used to tedious everyday life.
亮點評析
nice，interesting，common都屬于普通詞匯，用到句子中也顯得平淡蒼白。nice的意思是好的，令人愉快的，interesting是有趣的，這兩個詞都不能準確地描繪出年輕人所憧憬的美好生活，句中想表達的是年輕人認為生活如同小說、電影一般充滿戲劇變化，激動人心，要體現(xiàn)這層含義應(yīng)該用dramatic，fascinating。dramatic表示刺激的，戲劇性的，給人深刻印象的，fascinating表示具有強烈吸引力的，迷人的，使人神魂顛倒的，這兩個詞的程度要比nice，interesting深得多，表現(xiàn)力也更強。原句用common表達實際的現(xiàn)實生活的枯燥無味是不準確的，common的意思是普通的，平常的，普通平常的東西不一定是枯燥的，tedious是表示(因過長、過慢或單調(diào))令人厭倦的，煩人的，恰好傳達出現(xiàn)實生活由于瑣碎和重復(fù)而變得索然無味這種含義。
4.Original: You should compete to live in this society.
Revised: You should compete for survival; otherwise, you will be thrown out of the tide of society.
亮點評析
原句平平淡淡，只是告訴人們要在社會立足，必須競爭，但這樣一句簡單的勸告似乎缺乏說服力，修改后的句子用了compete for survival，為了生存而競爭，而且后面又添加了一個并列分句，補充說明了如果不compete的后果就是be thrown out of the tide of society，被社會的浪潮所淘汰，使用這些更加具體深刻的詞匯能夠形象生動地表現(xiàn)出競爭的慘烈。
5.Original: I really believe that smoking is harmful to peoples health.
Revised: I have a profound conviction that smoking is harmful to peoples health.
亮點評析
conviction的意思是堅定的看法或信仰，have a profound conclusion表示對某種看法深信不疑，作文中提出觀點的句子用have a profound conclusion會比用believe態(tài)度更堅決，立場更鮮明，而且believe這個詞非常簡單，是英語初學者就應(yīng)掌握的詞匯，換成have a profound conclusion立即增加了句子的復(fù)雜程度，體現(xiàn)了較強的.語言運用能力。類似的提出觀點的表達還有：
I hold a point of view that
I hold the opinion that
6.Original: We know that sometimes success is measured by how much money you earn.
Revised: It does not surprise us to discover that sometimes success is measured in terms of the money you earn.
亮點評析
如上句的believe一樣，know也是非常初級的詞匯，作文中出現(xiàn)I believe that，I know that這樣的表達只能體現(xiàn)考生寫作技巧的稚嫩，用It does not surprise us to discover that替換We know that并沒有改變原句的含義，卻使全句頓時增添了亮點。
7.Original: We all know that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
Revised: It goes without saying that most factories would be of no use if there were not clean water supply.
亮點評析
同上例一樣，know這樣的初級詞匯應(yīng)避免在作文中使用，It goes without saying that是一個固定結(jié)構(gòu)，意思是是不言而喻的，常在作文中用來引經(jīng)據(jù)典或表明一個盡人皆知的道理，類似的表達還有：
An old saying goes that
Proverb goes that
It is universally acknowledged that
It is generally accepted that
8.Original: Some other people think that people should read extensively.
Revised: Another position says that people should read extensively.
亮點評析
同know，believe一樣，think也應(yīng)該盡量避免使用，修改后的句子中是用Another position says that代替think提出另一種觀點，也可以用hold a point of view，hold the opinion這樣的短語替換。
9.Original: The unexpected win of the match give us confidence.
Revised: The unexpected win of the match boost our confidence.
亮點評析
give也屬于英語中最初級、最基本的詞匯，只表示給，給予這個動作，不涉及動作的性質(zhì)和狀態(tài)，若表示增添信心，增強士氣，比較地道的說法是用boost confidence/morale，如：The change of management has boosted morale throughout the company. 管理模式的改變使整個公司上下士氣倍受鼓舞。
10.Original: The use of drugs has increased greatly in the last ten years.
Revised: The use of drugs has increased significantly in the last ten years.
亮點評析
greatly是一般用語，表示程度高，很，非常，使用相當普遍而沒有新意，在寫作中應(yīng)盡量避免使用這些通俗而又陳舊的詞匯，應(yīng)換用一些更加正式，更有說服力的詞語，例如significantly表示達到了非常重要的或可觀的程度，重大的，可觀的，能夠具體說明藥品使用方面，增長幅度巨大。significantly還可以替換成considerably，tremendously等，同樣具有不錯的表達效果。
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