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      1. 中考英語寫作精彩點評與修改

        時間:2020-08-29 14:28:43 英語寫作 我要投稿

        中考英語寫作精彩點評與修改

          中考英語寫作精彩點評與修改(二)  原文修改如下:

        中考英語寫作精彩點評與修改

          Dear Peter,

          (第一段:提出要求。1-2句)

          I am writing to ask whether you are able to do favor.

         。ā白屇橙藥兔Α笨梢员磉_成do sb. a favor. 可以改成:I am writing to ask whether you are able to do me a favor.)

         。ǖ诙危赫f明理由。5-7句)

          I want to get a good pen friend. I would like you introduce a penfriend to me. (請求的內容要簡潔明了,可以合并成一句話:I would like you to introduce a good pen pal to me.) First of all, She must be a girl in her early years. (沒有說明原因,為什么找一個和我年齡相仿的筆友?梢愿某桑篎irst of all, she must be a girl about my own age, who can communicate with me better than anyone else.)My hobby is traveling and playing badminton. For our communication, I hope she likes the things as I like. And I also like small pet. (這三句話表示希望筆友能有和我一樣的愛好,但是是寫的太零散了,邏輯性不強,最好用復合句來替換多個簡單句?梢愿某桑篎urthermore,she is supposed to have the same hobbies as mine, such as traveling, playing badminton, and raising small pets. 在表達時,注意先總后分,先說希望她擁有和我一樣的愛好,再說這些愛好具體是什么。千萬不要倒置次序。)

         。ǖ谌危褐厣暌蟆1-2句)

          If you can help me finding an English penfiaend. that’s the best. (最好用這個句型:I would appreciate it very much if …, “如果……, 我將感激不盡!笨梢愿某桑篒 would appreciate it very much if you can help me find an English pen friend.) I can write to her to know her culture and improve my English Maybe in holiday. I can go to her country for a travel. (這句話不應該出現在這里,把它作為我找筆友的.第三條要求, 放到第二段的末尾,就顯的更合理一些!傲私狻睉摫磉_成:know about。整個句子可以改成:Finally,she is expected to be an English native speaker so that I can write to her to know about her culture and improve my English.)

          I’ m looking forwards to your news. (很好!結語寒暄。)

          Sincerely

          Yours,

          點評:

          這篇文章總體寫的不錯!結構,內容沒有問題。語言的組織力度不夠強,第二段的邏輯層次有點亂。繼續加油!作文上需要投入點時間和精力。劉曉偉的主頁 | 查看全部日志

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