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雙語散文閱讀:簡.愛「節選」
夏洛蒂·勃朗特(Charlotte Bronte,1816-1855),英國女作家。她與兩個妹妹,即艾米莉·勃朗特和安妮·勃朗特,在英國文學史上有被合稱為“勃朗特三姐妹”。(艾米莉·勃朗特著有《呼嘯山莊》,安妮·勃朗特著有《艾格尼絲·格雷》。)
《簡·愛》
"Never," said he, as he ground his teeth, "never was anything at once so frail and so indomitable. A mere reed she feels in my hand!" (And he shook me with the force of his hold.) "I could bend her with my finger and thumb: and what good would it do if I bent, if I uptore, if I crushed her? Consider that eye: consider the resolute, wild, free thing looking out of it, defying me, with more than courage--with a stern triumph. Whatever I do with its cage, I cannot get at it--the savage, beautiful creature! If I tear, if I rend the slight prison, my outrage will only let the captive loose. Conqueror I might be of the house; but the inmate would escape to heaven before I could call myself possessor of its clay dwelling-place. And it is you, spirit--with will and energy, and virtue and purity--that I want: not alone your brittle frame. Of yourself you could come with soft flight and nestle against my heart, if you would: seized against your will, you will elude the grasp like an essence--you will vanish ere I inhale your fragrance. Oh! come, Jane, come!"
As he said this, he released me from his clutch, and only looked at me. The look was far worse to resist than the frantic strain: only an idiot, however, would have succumbed now. I had dared and baffled his fury; I must elude his sorrow: I retired to the door.
"You are going, Jane?"
"I am going, sir."
"You are leaving me?"
"Yes."
"You will not come? You will not be my comforter, my rescuer? My deep love, my wild woe, my frantic prayer, are all nothing to you?"
What unutterable pathos was in his voice! How hard it was to reiterate firmly, "I am going."
"Jane!"
"Mr. Rochester!"
"Withdraw, then,--I consent; but remember, you leave me here in anguish. Go up to your own room; think over all I have said, and, Jane, cast a glance on my sufferings--think of me."
He turned away; he threw himself on his face on the sofa. "Oh, Jane! my hope--my love--my life!" broke in anguish from his lips. Then came a deep, strong sob.
I had already gained the door; but, reader, I walked back--walked back as determinedly as I had retreated. I knelt down by him; I turned his face from the cushion to me; I kissed his cheek; I smoothed his hair with my hand.
"God bless you, my dear master!" I said. "God keep you from harm and wrong--direct you, solace you--reward you well for your past kindness to me."
"Little Jane's love would have been my best reward," he answered; "without it, my heart is broken. But Jane will give me her love: yes--nobly, generously."
Up the blood rushed to his face; forth flashed the fire from his eyes; erect he sprang; he held his arms out; but I evaded the embrace, and at once quitted the room.
“從來沒有,”他咬牙切齒地說,“從來沒有什么東西像這樣既纖弱,又不屈不撓的。在我看來她只不過像根蘆葦,我可以輕而易舉的把它弄彎,但我即使是把它弄彎了,拔起來,捏碎了,又有什么用呢?看看那對眼睛,看看那里面流露出來的堅決、大膽,什么也不顧的神氣,不僅帶著勇氣,還帶著的堅定的勝利感對我公開蔑視。這野性難馴的美麗的東西,不管我怎么做,都無法靠攏這個籠子!即使我拆掉、搗毀那纖脆的牢籠,我的暴行也只會放走囚徒。我也許可以征服那房子,但我還來不及稱自己是這泥屋的主人,里面的居住者就會飛上天去。而我要的正是你,你的精神——富有意志、能量、德行和純潔——而不僅僅是你那脆弱的身軀。如果你愿意,你會悄然朝我飛來,依偎在我的懷中。倘若不顧你的意愿硬把你抓住,你就像香氣似的從我手中消失——在我還沒有聞到你的芬芳時,就消失的無影無蹤了。哦,來吧!簡,來吧!“
他一邊這么說著,一邊松開他那緊握的手,只是那樣地看著我。這眼神遠比發瘋時的緊扯更讓人難受。然而,現在只有白癡才會屈服。我已面對他的怒火,并把它挫敗了。我得避開他的憂愁。我朝門口退去。
“你要走了,簡?”
“我要走了,先生。”
“你是要離開我了?”
“是的。”
“你不愿意來了?你不愿意做我的安慰者,我的拯救者了?——面對我這深沉的愛,劇烈的痛苦,瘋狂的祈求,你都無動于衷嗎?”
他的聲音中帶有一種難以言說的悲哀!而要毅然決然重復說出“我走了”,這句話是那么困難啊!
“簡!”
“羅切斯特先生。”
“那么,去吧——我同意——但是記著,你把我一個人撇在痛苦之中。到樓上你的房間再好好想想我說過的話,簡,看一看我所承受的痛苦吧——想想我吧。”
他轉過身去,一頭扎進了沙發里。“哦,簡!我的希望——我的愛——我的生命啊!” 他痛苦地脫口而出。隨后便聽到了他那深沉而強烈的哭泣聲。
我那時已走到了門口,可我的讀者呀,我又走了回去——就像我剛剛走出時那樣堅決。我跪在他身旁,把他的臉從沙發墊里捧起來,并轉向我;我吻了吻他的臉頰,理了理他的頭發。
“上帝保佑你,我親愛的主人!” 我說,“上帝會保佑你不受傷害,不做錯事——他會指引你,安慰你——會好好報答你過去對我的恩情。”
“可簡的愛情才是對我最好的酬謝,” 他答道,“沒有了它,我的心就碎了,不過簡一定會把她的愛給我的,會的——會高尚、慷慨地給我的!”
血色一下子泛在他的臉上,眼睛里射出了火一般的光芒。他猛地跳了起來,站直了身子,張開了雙臂。但我躲開了他的擁抱,立刻跑出了房間。
“別了!” 就在我離開他時,我的心在狂喊。絕望又使我加了一句:“永別了!”
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