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title="應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生網(wǎng)" target="_blank"></a> <a href="http://m.1-jiu.com/xinli/hunlian/" title="婚戀心理" target="_blank" class="lanmu">婚戀心理</a> <code>當(dāng)前位置：</code><a href='http://m.1-jiu.com/' title="應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生網(wǎng)">應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生網(wǎng)</a><code>></code><a href='http://m.1-jiu.com/xinli/' title="心理">心理</a><code>></code><a href='http://m.1-jiu.com/xinli/hunlian/' title="婚戀心理">婚戀心理</a><code>></code>談?wù)勀銓橐龅臓奚? </div> <div id="5vajrimf" class="search"> </div> <div id="5vajrimf" class="rougao"> <a target="_blank" href="http://m.1-jiu.com/usr/login.html" title="我要投稿">我要投稿</a> <a target="_blank" href="http://m.1-jiu.com/contact.html" class="jianyi" title="投訴建議">投訴建議</a> </div> </div> </div> <div id="5vajrimf" class="main"> <div id="5vajrimf" class="main-left"> <div id="5vajrimf" class="article"> <script type="text/javascript">s("title_top");</script> <h1 class="title">談?wù)勀銓橐龅臓奚?/h1> <div id="5vajrimf" class="info"> <span id="5vajrimf" class="time">時間：2020-08-23 18:38:06 </span> <span id="5vajrimf" class="sm_after_time"></span> <span id="5vajrimf" class="source"><a target="_blank" href="http://m.1-jiu.com/xinli/hunlian/" title="婚戀心理">婚戀心理</a></span> <span id="5vajrimf" class="source"><a target="_blank" href="http://m.1-jiu.com/usr/login.html" title="我要投稿">我要投稿</a></span> </div> <script type="text/javascript">s("content_top");</script> <div id="5vajrimf" class="content"> <p>談?wù)勀銓橐龅臓奚?/p> <p> 　　對于婚姻，不同的人有不同的看法，而有的人往往會注重于對婚姻的犧牲，下面就一起來談?wù)勀銓橐龅臓奚?</p><p style="text-align: center;"><img loading="lazy" src="https://p.9136.com/00/l/bbe9d2f6008_5fbf7f01eb5de.jpg" alt="談?wù)勀銓橐龅臓奚?/></p> <p> <strong>　　人們對平等關(guān)系的追求正在向21世紀(jì)的浪漫生活發(fā)出了挑戰(zhàn)書。</strong></p> <p> 　　生活和工作已經(jīng)叫人吃力得喘不過氣，而人們每天卻常常以愛為由做出犧牲。其實(shí)，是否可以暫時把洗碗機(jī)里的狼藉擱在一旁，好讓我們有閑暇照料一下自己?當(dāng)雙方都經(jīng)歷了漫長而緊張的一天，什么才是應(yīng)有的期待，什么才是正確的行動計劃?</p> <p> 　　亞利桑那大學(xué)的一項(xiàng)新研究指出：一般來說，在戀愛關(guān)系中做出犧牲往往是積極可取的，然而在你倍感壓力的日子里，這樣的犧牲卻不一定有利。</p> <p> <strong>　　由凱西·圖坦哈根博士(Casey Totenhagen, Ph.D)主導(dǎo)的研究將刊登在即將出版的《社會與個人關(guān)系》上。</strong></p> <p> 　　研究人員追蹤了164 對已婚或未婚的夫妻和情侶，其中關(guān)系維持時間最短的為6個月，最長的`為44年。328人都被要求填寫每天的網(wǎng)上調(diào)查，持續(xù)7天。調(diào)查通過12個類別顯示了他們每天為另一半所作出的犧牲，例如照看孩子、家務(wù)活兒以及與朋友共處的時間等等。同時，調(diào)查對象還需要匯報當(dāng)天遭遇的困難數(shù)量以及這些困難對他們的影響程度。</p> <p> 　　爾后，參與者根據(jù)當(dāng)天自身感覺對伴侶的忠誠程度、親密程度以及對兩人關(guān)系的滿足程度從1至7進(jìn)行評分。</p> <p> 　　本次研究對“犧牲”的定義是：為了向伴侶帶去一份美好，同時也為了維持良好的關(guān)系而做出的有別于日常的小改變。</p> <p> 　　研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，為伴侶做出犧牲的一方在做美好的事情時往往感到自己更忠誠于對方。然而當(dāng)他們在經(jīng)歷諸多困難的日子里做出犧牲時，他們卻沒有感到更多的忠誠。</p> <p> 　　“在人們感到壓力比山還沉重，并且深感困頓的日子里，那些犧牲事實(shí)上并無助于兩人的關(guān)系，因?yàn)檫@僅僅是那個節(jié)點(diǎn)上的又一個任務(wù)而已。”圖坦哈根說。</p> <p> 　　“當(dāng)你已經(jīng)度過了困頓的一天，回到家之后還為伴侶做出犧牲，這就只是又一個困難罷了。”</p> <p> 　　“你需要留意所有可運(yùn)用的資源以做到為對方付出，”她補(bǔ)充說，“緊張的一天過后，也許那并不是把犧牲列到日程上的最好時機(jī)。”</p> <p> 　　令人驚訝的是，“被犧牲”的一方并沒有感到更忠實(shí)于自己的伴侶——也許他們并沒有意識到伴侶為自己做出了特別的行動。</p> <p> <strong>　　研究人員稱，這種無意識是一個值得進(jìn)一步研究和關(guān)注的現(xiàn)象。</strong></p> <p> 　　諷刺的一點(diǎn)是，做出犧牲似乎并不會增進(jìn)兩人的滿意度和親密度。然而個人所提及的困難卻實(shí)實(shí)在在地會影響雙方的親密度和滿意度，不管遭受困難的是哪一方。</p> <p> 　　“我們發(fā)現(xiàn)犧牲并不預(yù)示著滿意和親密，相反，困難卻在產(chǎn)生這兩種感覺的過程中扮演著十分重要的角色。”圖坦哈根說道。</p> <p> 　　“這些發(fā)現(xiàn)，”圖坦哈根說道，“也支持了一個既有的研究理論。那就是人們往往不善于區(qū)分生活的不同方面，就像工作和私人生活，而這也常常導(dǎo)致了一種‘外溢效應(yīng)’。”</p> <p> 　　“如果我在職場中已經(jīng)度過了糟糕的一天，想必我回家時的心情也是煩躁的，這種情況下，我與另一半之間的互動也許也不會是最佳的。”她說。“另一方面，如果我的伴侶度過了緊張的一天，他回家時的心情也一定不好，而且他也不會有更多的精力跟我進(jìn)行積極的互動，那么我還是會因?qū)Ψ讲豁樀囊惶於茏铩?rdquo;</p> <p> <strong>　　圖坦哈根表示，此研究的含義在于建議關(guān)系雙方共同努力解決日常的難題。</strong></p> <p> 　　她說：“在壓力情緒進(jìn)一步累積之前，雙方一同面對并處理那些日常的壓力，這很重要。”</p> <p> 　　“即使我所經(jīng)受的壓力與我的伴侶無關(guān)，但壓力情緒還是會影響到他，所以若我們能共同面對這種情緒，我們都將受益。”</p> <p> <strong>　　圖坦哈根博士針對愛戀關(guān)系的研究旨在找出使關(guān)系變好或變壞的誘因。</strong></p> <p> 　　“我想知道是什么導(dǎo)致好的關(guān)系愈好，壞的關(guān)系愈壞，我認(rèn)為很多原因都來自日常與伴侶之間的互動以及日常生活對我們關(guān)系的滲透程度。”她說。</p> <p> 　　“我認(rèn)為有一點(diǎn)是非常有用的，我們不應(yīng)單單著眼于兩人之間那些新奇的大事件，而更應(yīng)該通過每天的互動，嘗試和理解那些有助于培養(yǎng)雙方正能量的我們力所能及的日常小事。”</p> 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