絕版英語笑話帶翻譯（精選12篇）
笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點。下面就讓小編給帶領大家認識一些關于絕版英語笑話，還是附帶翻譯的，希望喜歡。
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇1
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
昂貴的代價
牙科醫生：對不起，夫人，為給您的兒子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。
母親：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一顆牙只要五美元呀?
牙科醫生：是的。但是您兒子這么大聲地叫喚，他都嚇跑四位病人了
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇2
The school of agriculture's dean of admissions was interviewing a prospective student. "Why have you chosen this career?" he asked.
"I dream of making a million dollars in farming, like my father," the student replied.
"Your father made a million dollars in farming?" echoed the impressed dean.
"No," replied the applicant. "But he always dreamed of it.
農校的招生辦主任在面試一個上線的學生，“你為何要選擇這個職業?”他問。 “我夢想以經營農場來賺一百萬元，就像我父親一樣。”這個學生回答說。 “你父親經營農場賺了一百萬元?”主任驚詫地問道。
“沒有，”這位申請人回答道，“他總是夢想著賺到這個數目�！�
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇3
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中間戰術
三個互相爭生意的商店老板在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：“大減價!”“特便宜!”
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：“大砍價!”“大折扣!”
中間的商人隨后準備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：“入口處”。
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇4
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
在第二次世界大戰中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作，當然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，“我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興�！杯偼饬�，于是他們幾個月里一直通著信。
后來，他再沒有來信。她收到了另一個軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個部隊醫院里。
瓊到了醫院，她對護士長說，“我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯。”
“這里只有親屬可以探望病人�！弊o士長說。
“噢，是的，”瓊說，“我是他的妹妹�！�
“很高興認識你，”護士長說，“我是他的母親。”
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇5
Three turtles decided to have a cup of coffee.
三只烏龜決定去喝咖啡。
Just as they got into the cafe, it started to rain.
它們剛到咖啡店的門口，就下起雨來。
The biggest turtle said to the smallest one, " Go home and get the umbrella."
于是最大的那只烏龜對最小的烏龜說，“你回家去取傘吧�！�
The little turtle replied, "I will, if you don't drink my offee."
最小的烏龜說，“如果你們不把我的咖啡喝了，我就去。”
"We won't," the other two promised.
“我們不喝，”另外兩只烏龜答應說。
Two years later the big turtle said to the middle turtle, "Well, I guess he isn't coming back, so we might as well drink his coffee."
兩年后，大烏龜對中烏龜說，“好吧，我猜他肯定不回來了，我們可以把它的咖啡喝掉了�！�
Just then a voice called from outside the door, "If you do, I won't go."
正在這時，一個聲音從門外傳來，“你們要是喝了，我就不去�！�
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇6
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to the fifth floor and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
一個聲名狼藉的小氣鬼終于決定要請一次客了。他在向一個朋友解釋怎么找到他家時說：“你上到五樓，用你的胳膊肘按門鈴。門開了后，再用你的.腳把門推開�！�
“為什么我要用我的肘和腳呢?”
“天哪!” 吝嗇鬼回答，“你總不會空著手來吧?”
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇7
"So you want another day off,”snorted the teacher to his student，Tom.“I am anxious to hear what excuse you have this time. You have been off for your grandfather's funeral four times already.”
“這么說，你又要請一天假，”老師怒氣沖沖地對他的學生湯姆說，“我倒想知道你這次找什么借口。你已經請了四次假說去參加你爺爺的葬禮。”
Tom replied，"Today my grandma is getting married again.”
湯姆回答說:“今天是我奶奶再次舉行婚禮�！�
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇8
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sum of money was talking to his lawyer.
一個被告卷入了一樁牽涉大筆資金的訴訟案，他去找他的律師。
A:If I lose this case, I'll be ruined.
如果我輸了這場官司，我就完了。
B:It's in the judge's hand now.
這事掌握在法官的手上。
A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?
如果我給法官送一箱雪茄，會不會起點作用?
B:Oh.no !This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior.A turu like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hald you in contempt of coun. in fact.you shouldn't even smile ai the judge.
哦.不會的!這位法官很固執，非常注意職業道德。這種花招只會讓他對你產生偏見，他甚至會認為你蔑視法庭。事實上，你甚至都不用對他微笑。
With in the course of time,the judge wndered a decision in favor of the defendant.As the defendanL leR the counhouae,
最后，法官作了一個有利于被告的判決，當被告離開法院時。
A:Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked.
謝謝你關于雪茄的忠告，這很管用。
B:I'm sure we wodd have lost the caae if you'd sent them.
如果你送了的話，我肯定會輸掉這場官司。
A:But did send them.
但是我的確送了。
B:What? You did?!
什么?你送了?!
A:Yes.That's how we won the case.
對，這就是我們會贏這場官司的原因。
B:I don't understand.
我不明白。
A:It's easy.I sent the cigars to the judge,but enclosed the plaintiff's business card.
這很簡單，我把雪茄送到了法官那里，但是附上了原告的一張名片。
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇9
On my first day of classes at my university I took a front-row seat in my literature course.
大學的第一天，文學課我坐在了前排。
The professor told us we would be responsible for reading five books, and that he would provide us with a list of authors from which we could choose.
教授告訴我們這學期必須得讀五本書，他提供我們可供選擇的作者名單。
Then he ambled over to the lectern, took out his class book and began, "Baker, Black, Brooks, Carter, Cook..."
隨后他緩步走上講臺，拿出課本，“貝克、布萊克、布魯斯、卡特、庫克…”
I was working feverishly to get down all the names when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The student in back of me whispered, "He's taking attendance."
為了寫下所有的名字，我不得不瘋狂的作著記錄。這時有人輕輕的拍我肩膀，坐在我后面的學生悄悄告訴我：“他在點名呢�！�
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇10
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
小學四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課。
"Here is the situation," she said. "a man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"
她舉了這么一個例子：“有這樣一種情況，一個男人在河中心的船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進了水里。于是他開始掙扎并喊救命。他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什么？”
A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings?"
一個女生舉手答道，“是不是去取他的存款？”
Tips: bank在英語中除了我們平時很熟悉的“銀行”之外，還有“河岸”的意思。
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇11
情人來電
a man was sitting reading his paper when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan.
"what was that for?", the man asked.
一個男人坐在那兒看報紙,他的老婆用煎鍋打他的頭。
"那是為什么?",那人問道。
the wife replied, "that was for the piece of paper with the name jenny on it that i found in your pants pocket".
the man said, "when i was at the races last week, jenny was the name of the horse i bet on."
the wife apologized and went on with the housework.
妻子回答說,"這張紙上寫的名字珍妮,我在你的褲子口袋里發現的"。
那人說:"我上周看比賽,珍妮是我下注的那匹馬的名字。"
妻子道歉,繼續做家務。
three days later the man is watching tv when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit him again.
she replied "your horse just phoned you".
三天后，他正在看電視,他老婆用比上次大得多的煎鍋打他的頭,他頓時失去知覺。
等男人恢復了意識，問他老婆為什么打他了。
她回答說:"你的馬打電話給你"。
絕版英語笑話帶翻譯 篇12
quick cleanup 快速清掃
unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. she put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. it read "thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上，我媽媽，一個完美的家庭主婦，正忙里忙外地整理。她分配給我爸和我哥哥的任務是打掃供客人使用的浴室。一會兒之后，當她去檢查的時候，她吃驚了，曾經一度雜亂的房間瞬間就被打掃干凈了。接著她看到浴簾上有一張紙條，紙條上寫著：“謝謝你沒往浴缸里看�！�
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