超冷英語(yǔ)笑話
你知道學(xué)些笑話的好處么?當(dāng)?shù)谝淮我?jiàn)面的時(shí)候，總是有不知道該說(shuō)什么的.尷尬，這時(shí)候你就需要一些笑話，來(lái)緩解一下氣氛呢，這里小編為你收集整理了超冷英語(yǔ)笑話，希望能對(duì)你有所幫助哈!
超冷英語(yǔ)笑話一：Misbehaving Guide Dog
A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg.
The man reached in his pocket and took
out a doggie biscuit, which he fed to the dog.
A busy body who had been watching ran up to him and said, "You shouldn't do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!".
The blind man retorted, "I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find which end is his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass".
超冷英語(yǔ)笑話二：A better dishwasher 一臺(tái)更好的洗碗機(jī)
Mrs Williams lived in a small street in London, and now she had a new neighbour.
Her name was Mrs Briggs, and she talked a lot about her expensive furniture, her beautiful carpets and her new kitchen.
"Do you know," she said to Mrs Williams one day, "I've got a new dishwasher1. It washes the plates and glasses and knives and forks beautifully."
"Oh? " Mrs Williams answered." And does it dry them and put them in the cupboard, too ?"
Mrs Briggs was surprised. "Well," she answered, "the things in the machine are dry after an hour, but it doesn't put them away, of course."
"I've had a dishwasher for twelve and a half years," Mrs Williams said.
"Oh?" Mrs Briggs answered, "And does yours put the things in the cupboard when it has washed them?"
She laughed nastily2. "Yes, he does," Mrs Williams answered."He dries the dishes and puts them away."
威廉姆斯太太住在倫敦的的一條小街上，現(xiàn)在她有了一位新鄰居。
這鄰居叫布里格斯太太，她對(duì)她的高檔家具，漂亮地毯和新廚房談?wù)摵芏唷?/p>
“你知道嗎?” 有一天她對(duì)威廉姆斯太太說(shuō)道：“我有一臺(tái)新洗碗機(jī)。它洗盤子、杯子和刀叉洗得非常好。”
“哦?”威廉姆斯太太回答說(shuō)，“它能弄干盤子、杯子和刀叉嗎?還可以把它們放進(jìn)碗柜嗎?”
布里格斯太太很吃驚。“ 嗯，”她回答說(shuō)，“洗碗機(jī)里的盤子、杯子和刀叉一小時(shí)后就干了，但當(dāng)然啰，洗碗機(jī)不能把它們收起來(lái)。”
威廉姆斯太太說(shuō)：“我有一臺(tái)洗碗機(jī)已經(jīng)12年半了。”
“哦?”布里格斯太太回答說(shuō)，“你的洗碗機(jī)在洗完盤子、杯子和刀叉后能把它們放進(jìn)碗柜嗎?”她不懷好意地大笑起來(lái)。
“是的，他可以。”威廉姆斯太太回答說(shuō)，“他把碗盤刀叉弄干后就把它們收起來(lái)。”
超冷英語(yǔ)笑話三：The First Man
A new TV game show in Hollywood had many contestants who were beautiful, but they weren't necessarilytoo smart. On one show, one such woman was extremely nervous, but tried to make the best of her performance.
The host asked, "Who was the first man, for one thousand dollars?"
She responded, "The first man was Peter, my postman, but he only paid me one hundred dollars!"
超冷英語(yǔ)笑話四：Thirteen 十三
A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum(精神病院) and he hears all the residents inside chanting, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye.
Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!
一個(gè)人在精神病院的木圍墻外路過(guò)，聽(tīng)見(jiàn)里面所有的人在唱，十三!十三! 十三!
他很好奇，就找到圍墻的一個(gè)洞，然后看進(jìn)去。突然有個(gè)人捅到了他的眼睛。
然后里面所有人開(kāi)始唱，十四!十四!十四!
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