經(jīng)典有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話
導(dǎo)語(yǔ)：幽默的人不僅僅會(huì)說(shuō)笑話，還要懂得他人說(shuō)的笑話，這里小編收集整理了經(jīng)典有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話，來(lái)測(cè)試一下你的幽默細(xì)胞的指數(shù)有多高吧!
1 Goethe was once strolling on a narrow path in a park in Weimar.
As luck would have it, he met with a critic who was hostile to him.
Both of them stopped, staring at each other.
Then the critic said, "I'll never make way for a fool."
"But I will," with that Goethe retreated aside.
一次，歌德正在魏瑪一個(gè)公園的.一條狹窄小道上散步。
碰巧他遇見(jiàn)一個(gè)對(duì)他懷有敵意的評(píng)論家。
兩人都停了下來(lái)，彼此相互對(duì)視。接著評(píng)論家說(shuō)道：“我從來(lái)不給傻瓜讓路。”
“可我給。”說(shuō)完歌德退到了一邊。
2 ?After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date.
Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.
When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said,
"I have some bad news. My grandfather just died.
""Thank heavens," his date replied. "If yours hadn't, mine would have had to!"
和相親對(duì)象呆了一晚上后，男人再也受不了了。
他事先安排了個(gè)朋友給他打電話，這樣他就能借故先離開(kāi)了。
當(dāng)他回到桌邊，他垂下眼睛，裝出一副陰沉的表情，說(shuō)：“有個(gè)不幸的消息，我的祖父剛剛?cè)ナ懒恕?rdquo;
“謝天謝地!”他的約會(huì)對(duì)象說(shuō)，“如果你的祖父不死，我的祖父就得死了!”
3 A worker who was being paid by the week approached his employer and held up his last paycheck.
This is two hundred dollars less than we agreed on, he said.
I know, the employer said.
But last week I overpaid you two hundred dollars, and you never complained.
Well, I don't mind an occasional mistake, the worker answered, but when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.
一個(gè)拿周薪的工人找到雇主，拿出上周的工資單，“比我們商量好的少了200美元，”他說(shuō)。
“我知道，”雇主說(shuō)，“但上星期我們多付了你200美元，也沒(méi)聽(tīng)你抱怨。”
“好了，我并不介意偶爾犯錯(cuò)誤，”工人回答，“但如果成了習(xí)慣，我覺(jué)得必須提起你的注意。”
4 A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand.
The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it.
If the other fellows know I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."
一名海軍軍官?gòu)募装迳系羧牒Ｖ�。他被一名甲板水手救起。這位軍官問(wèn)如何才能酬謝他。 “最好的辦法，長(zhǎng)官，”這名水手說(shuō)，“是別聲張這事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他們會(huì)把我扔下去的。”
5 Two little boys wanted to ask a favor of their mother.
"You ask her," said Paul, age ten.
"No," said Roy, age nine, "You ask her, you have known her longer than I have."
兩個(gè)小男孩想找他們的母親幫忙。
“你去找她。”十歲的保羅說(shuō)。
“不，”九歲的羅伊說(shuō)，“你去，你比我更早認(rèn)識(shí)她。”
6 It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner.
"What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
那天是圣誕節(jié)，法官在審訊犯人時(shí)也有點(diǎn)惻隱之心。“你為什么而被起訴?”他問(wèn)。
“采購(gòu)圣誕節(jié)物品過(guò)早。”被告答。
“這不算犯法，”法官回答，“你購(gòu)物多早?”
在商店開(kāi)門(mén)之前，“犯人應(yīng)道。
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