笑抽了的英語笑話大全
導語：中文笑話我們都聽得懂，其實英語笑話也不難，而且英語笑話也充滿幽默，讓我們一起來看看吧!
1 A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum(精神病院) and he hears all the residents inside chanting, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye.
Then everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!
一個人在精神病院的木圍墻外路過，聽見里面所有的人在唱，十三!十三! 十三!
他很好奇，就找到圍墻的一個洞，然后看進去。突然有個人捅到了他的`眼睛。
然后里面所有人開始唱，十四!十四!十四!
2 Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?
Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.
旅行者：我還能趕上3點鐘那班到多倫多的火車嗎?
售票員：那得看你跑得有多快�；疖�15分鐘前開出。
3 Talking on the Telephone
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.
"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.
The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though."
Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"
在電話中交談
每個星期天牧師都會把孩子們叫到教堂前面，然后給他們講一個故事。一天，他為了更好地闡述祈禱的含義，帶來了一臺電話機。
“你們和別人在電話里交談，并沒有看到電話線另一端的人，對嗎?”他開始問道。孩子們點頭稱是。“好的，和上帝交談就象通過電話交談一樣。他就在另一端，雖然你看不見他，但是他正在聆聽你的心聲。”
就在這時，一個小男孩尖著嗓子問道：“那他的電話號碼是什么?”
4 Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
哥哥想了一會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
5 Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing.
The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help.
The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead."
Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?"
兩個獵人進森林里打獵，其中一個獵人不慎跌倒，兩眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。
另一個獵人趕緊拿出手機撥通緊急求助電話。
接線員沉著地說：“第一步，要先確定你的朋友已經死亡。”于是，接線員在電話里聽到一聲槍響，然后聽到那獵人接著問：“第二步怎辦?”
6 Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.
Walter: What was it?
Teacher: Eggs.
Walter: Wrong. That was yesterday.
老師：沃爾特，你為什么不洗臉?我看得出你今天早飯吃了什么。
沃爾特：我吃了什么?
老師：雞蛋。
沃爾特：錯了，老師。那是昨天吃的。
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