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五年級(jí)古今英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)
更多更好玩的英語(yǔ)笑話(huà)，盡在應(yīng)屆畢業(yè)生網(wǎng)。
Boss's idea
When my printer's type began to go faint, I called a repair shop where a friendly man told me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
Because the shop charged 50 pounds for such cleanings, he told me, it would be better for me to read the printer's directions and try the job myself.
Pleasantly surprised by his words, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually it's my boss's idea," the employee replied. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to repair things themselves first."
由于我的打印機(jī)不能打印出清晰的字來(lái)，我就打電話(huà)給維修部。電話(huà)是一位非常和藹的男人接的，他說(shuō)我的打印機(jī)也許只是需要清理一下。
他還說(shuō)，如果讓維修部清理的話(huà)要交50英鎊的清理費(fèi)，讓我最好看看使用手冊(cè)自己試著清理。
當(dāng)時(shí)我真的被他的話(huà)感動(dòng)了，就問(wèn)他：“你們老板知道你這樣拒絕生意么?”
“事實(shí)上，這就是我們老板的主意，”雇員答道：“因?yàn)槿绻覀冏層脩?hù)先自行修理打印機(jī)的話(huà)就能掙更多的錢(qián)。”
誰(shuí)欠誰(shuí)錢(qián)
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
律師的狗，沒(méi)有拴而到處閑逛，它來(lái)到一家肉店，偷走了一塊 烤肉。店主來(lái)到律師的辦公室，問(wèn)道“如果一條沒(méi)栓的狗從我的商店里偷了塊肉，我有權(quán)利從狗的主人那里要回?fù)p失嗎?律師答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗沒(méi)栓而且今天從我的店里頭了塊肉”，律師什么都沒(méi)說(shuō)，馬上給他寫(xiě)了一張支票。一些天后，店主打開(kāi)郵箱，發(fā)現(xiàn)一封來(lái)自律師的信，信上寫(xiě) 道：咨詢(xún)費(fèi)250美元。
婚禮上有長(zhǎng)官在
A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.""But ,officer, I ….""I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."
大街上的一個(gè)超速駕駛者被警察攔住了。“但是警官”這個(gè)人說(shuō)道，“我可以解釋的”。“保持安靜”，警察突然說(shuō)道。“我將把你送往監(jiān)獄，直到長(zhǎng)官回來(lái)。“但是，警察，我……”。“我說(shuō)過(guò)了保持安靜，你要到監(jiān)獄了。”幾小時(shí)后，警察向監(jiān)獄里看了看說(shuō)道“算你運(yùn)氣好，因?yàn)槲覀兊拈L(zhǎng)官正在他女兒的婚禮上。他將帶著一個(gè)愉快的心情回來(lái)的。”“你確定”在牢房里的這個(gè)人說(shuō)道。“我就是新郎呀”。
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