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給英文簡歷瘦身
給“臃腫”的段落“瘦身”。
在商務英文信函寫作中,我們要小心避免寫出那些讓讀信人一看就得摒氣凝神的“臃腫”段落。整塊整塊密實的文字,在每天要讀十幾封甚至幾十封信的讀信人看來,就像一座座的大山屹立于眼前,成為閱讀的最大障礙。會讓人由于細心理上的原因感覺你在羅嗦寫廢話。因此,寫作者應該想盡一切辦法給它們“瘦身”。把較長的段落拆解成幾段。一般的劃分段落的原則是“一個段落只表達一個意思(A paragraph for each point is a good general rule.)”(摘自周邦友《英語應用文大典》第76頁)如:
例(7):It is reported in a domestic newspaper that the Iranian Central Bank has instructed the commercial banks to suspend their business of opening a new letter of credit as from the 3rd May for financial reason of foreign currency. Although it is said that this arrangement would be a temporary one and with establishment of new import policy this emergency arrangement would be lifted, we are much concerned about the outcome of this movement toward restriction of import to Iran and shall be obliged if you will kindly keep us well advised of development of this new arrangement especially in connection with import from France. 以上這封信只有一段,共有兩句話。第一句39字,第二句66句。 讀后雖然能基本了解其內容,但讀起來很不舒服。而且看起來臃腫,信的內容大體有三點:
1. 伊朗中央銀行因外匯原因,通知個商業銀行從五月三日起停止開立信用證;
。玻 這臨時措施,新的進口政策一訂,這個措施可能取消;
。常 希望對方隨時告知有關情況。
按照這三點,適當地劃分段落,把信重新改寫如下:
It is reported that the Iranian Central Bank has instructed the commercial banks to suspend their issuing new Letters of Credit as from the 3rd May because of its decreasing foreign currency funds.
Furthermore it is said that the suspension seems a temporary one and will be released with establishment if a new import policy.
We are much concerned, however, about the outcome of this movement toward restriction of import to Iran. We, therefore, shall be obliged if you will keep us well informed of development of this new state of affairs, especially in connection with imports from France.
修改過后的段落并沒有增加或者減少任何一個詞語,也沒有改變原來句子的意思或者表達方式,只是按照意思將其恰當地劃分了段落。較之原文,修改后的信函讀起來比較清楚易懂,看起來也很簡練,更加容易讓人接受。
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